Thoughts Outside a Cubicle

Start your Day with a Positive Intention :)

January 23, 2013 By ashok 2 Comments

Your Intention can be your most powerful Tool.

When you use it to set positivity. To set a Positive Intention. To be with that Intention. To actually believe in it. You create positivity within yourself. You may not know exactly how things will manifest, but if you can truly believe in that Intention: You should make it. You should set it. You should believe it.

So start every morning off with a Positive Intention.

I got this from my great friend Akshay. I thought it was a brilliant way to integrate this into your life practically.

It starts with something so simple. Park your car in reverse in your garage. Back in instead of pulling in. Now when you drive out in the morning. When you start your day. When you go to work. When you go to wherever it is you’re going today. You start off going forward. You start off going into that Intention. You don’t go backward. You don’t look at the past. The past is just but a memory. When we are sitting there in our cars, and going forth in our day. It will begin with that Positive Intention that we set. We will see the garage door open up in front of us. The light slowly peer in. In some ways our own personal Sunrise.

We wake up sometimes and we don’t even get a chance to see it. Maybe it’s been too late, maybe it’s been too early. But if the Sun is there, we can allow it to be ours.

As that garage door pulls open over your car, you see the open space out in front of you. That free space is for your Intention to fill as you move forward out into the world. That’s how you’ve decided to start this day. Forward. With your Positive Intention.

Don’t forget to Smile

Filed Under: life, passions Tagged With: car, forward, intention, parked, positive

Don’t Set 2012 New Year Resolutions — BE Them.

January 2, 2013 By ashok Leave a Comment

We ring in a new year, full of energy, full of life, full of strong new intentions. We water the seeds of our desires for the new year, bringing life to our most dormant dreams. A magnificent dawn of possibilities and opportunities.

I will lose weight this year.
I will be more kind this year.
I will take up Yoga and/or a mind/body healing practice this year.
I will give more than I receive this year.
I will see life through a glass half full and not half empty.
I will learn from others as much as I teach.

Life doesn’t come to us as we sit here waiting for it and planning. Life comes OUT OF US.

From our hearts out into this world, then back inside to live the experience. Like the endless cycle of blood circulating our veins or the breath filling oxygen in our lungs.

This year, 2013, BE your intention. Replace “I will” with “I am” and keep moving towards it.

I am healthy.
I am happy with my weight.
I am a kind and loving mother/father.
I am an early bird who gets up to the sunrise and keeps a natural balance with my circadian rhythm.
I am grateful for all I have in this life.
I am complete in every way.
I am capable of achieving my dreams.

Make this a year to not just plan and do, but to transform. Like a caterpillar going through a metamorphosis, open your wings and FLY like a butterfly. You already ARE that butterfly; capable of taking flight when you are ready.

Happy and Peaceful New Years to everyone!

Filed Under: life Tagged With: 2013, I am, intentions, new years, sankalpa

Everyone, Including You, is Struggling with Something

September 28, 2012 By ashok 2 Comments

Have you ever wanted to hold the vastness of the Sun in the palm of your hands? Feel the infiniteness of it’s glow?

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: you’re struggling.

Are you not? Liar! You’re either not from this planet or you’ve transcended being human. But seriously, whether it is big or small, everyone is struggling with something deep within themselves no matter how covered up it may be; no matter how superficial the facades are that we place on ourselves to get through our daily routines. Sometimes it never comes out until the end of our life, but it will always be there, waiting like a scar on our heart. Some people even call this the challenge of life itself.

After all, there is no light without darkness right?

***

It was a comforting thought I had when I was in college and had a lot of social anxiety. I felt all this tension to talk to others because I felt their lives were somehow more meaningful than mine. Then I started to observe real closely how everyone else handled the moments between moments. Those moments in-between their highest points — the joy of a fun college party or the excitement of winning an intramural game. They could experience these highs, yet most of the time I would see them bored sitting in front of a the TV in the evening, slogging through the day of classes, counting the minutes till the next “fun” event which will simply justify their “low points” throughout the day. Maybe I wasn’t so different. Maybe I simply didn’t include enough fun things to counter-balance the low points like everyone else was doing.

I’ll be honest, I played a lot of video games in college. I was probably that nerdy kid looking at the ground while you walked by and didn’t notice on the sidewalk. There was a time in 2007 when I had a routine of: sleep, wake up, go to class, study/homework, eat, play games, sleep (No joke, I even recorded a stupid video of myself in the Spring of 2007 that shows this: My Day – April 9th, 2007 . Seriously, don’t watch it though, it’s stupid). I envied everyone and felt like I simply couldn’t be as ‘fun’ as them. I resigned to vicariously living through other their stories, imagining myself in their role, thinking that maybe in another life I could have fun like the rest of them. Video games filled a void inside of me through active feedback, a sense of purpose, and accomplishments that seemed far greater than myself. I could be a hero saving my town from destruction instead of a nerdy student at college studying Computer Science. Before you simply think this was video game addiction, I challenge you to think about the underlining reasons that any human may turn to video games and find them as an escape. Are you different? Have you ever been sucked into a game of Angry Birds or Words with Friends? Maybe you’ve gotten lost in the playful nature of a board game during a reunion of friends or family? The truth is that the act of ‘playing’ is wired within us as an evolutionarily benefit so we can easily experience joyful moments in our lives. We are wired to be playful and have fun even if only with our imagination. Just look at any kid!

There was a great book by a game designer named Jane McGonigal who came to the conclusion that designing game worlds was akin to designing perfect experiences for human beings. It was as if you were a planner of Joy and you laid a path for players to follow and experience real feelings of accomplishment, success, and pride within themselves as they completed it. Over the years, many game designers became great in this role after seeing what people were responding to and newer games such as World of Warcraft began to seem like real alternate realities with millions of hours being spent in them by people all over the world.

If you’re too lazy to read her book Reality is Broken: Why Games Make Us Better and How They Can Change the World, at least give her 10 minute TED talk a listen: Jane McGonigal – Gaming Can Make a Better World.

Just a few quotes from her: “My goal for the next decade is to try to make it as easy to save the world in real life as it is to save the world in online games.”

“When we play a game, we tackle tough challenges with more creativity, more determination, more optimism, and we’re more likely to reach out to others for help.”

“If you can manage to experience three positive emotions for every one negative emotion … you dramatically improve your health and your ability to successfully tackle any problem you’re facing.”

“Avatars are a way to express our true selves, our most heroic, idealized version of who we might become.”

This may sound lofty, but Jane McGonigal has touched on something so profound that it may take many years to fully realize the implications — games can teach us how to activate that ever elusive state of Flow more often in our daily lives so that we can feel more connected to each other and the world around us.

Flow is that effortless state of energy you can have where it feels great to be doing whatever it is you are doing. You are totally in the moment and understand exactly what to do; even if it is just focusing on a volleyball coming over the net or feeling ‘in the zone’ during a basketball game. It can happen spontaneously or when you’re deeply inspired by something so profound that you are compelled to take action. Musicians, designers, writers, and creatives describe it as an intuitive state where your body feels as though it has become a receiver of divine or cosmic gifts and the art flows naturally through you. There’s a whole book written about the science behind it: Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience.

****

The question really is: Are we willing to wake up to the reality of our own lives? Are we ready to face the true Self inside this physical body we have covered with our identities? We are not all different from one another. We pretend to be disconnected from the lives of each other even though we live in the same city, the same country, the same planet. The truth is we are all interconnected in a web of cause and effect. You step on someone’s shoe and you create a figurative hole in your own. You extend a hand in service and you receive gratitude.

As humans we link experiences to all our senses to create the most detailed memory possible. We go on roller coasters that take us hundreds of feet in the air so we can experience the intense thrill of falling. By knowing we’re safe, the temporary moment of exhilaration is available for us to experience over and over again. The thrill of that moment as our stomachs give out and the coaster falls to the earth, we become free from our physical bodies and challenge the space around us. We experience being fully present because there is no other way to be; even while closing your eyes in fear as you second guess going on the coaster in the first place. It’s like that feeling of bliss or catharsis when watching a film, but you can’t sustain it. We want to sustain it. You are one with that moment — in a state of Flow.

How do we continue to return to this?

By becoming vulnerable and opening ourselves up, we allow our hearts to free us from the struggles we all face together.

A notecard I received from Mondo Beyondo founder Andrea Scher during her workshop at WDS 2012 in Portland.

Filed Under: life

The Power of Appreciation

August 6, 2012 By ashok 1 Comment

What are you appreciative of? When you think about the new day, the new work ahead, the places you’re visiting, the people you see, what do you find appreciation in?

I’ve been fascinated by the power of Gratitude this year. Cultivating Gratitude has the ability to truly make life more enjoyable no matter what is happening. I’ve had moments where I’ve been challenged and had to put these ideas into practice. For instance this year I almost wrecked my car by running into the person in front of me who abruptly stopped, having to slightly swerve, and whereas previously I may have held on to the emotion of anger or resentment at this person who I’ll never speak to, I came back to Gratitude within seconds. Just reminding myself of the present: Sure, I did almost have a terrible accident, but I didn’t and I’m grateful for being healthy in this moment and perfectly okay and so there’s no reason to over think the situation and dwell in it. Within seconds I took 5 deep breaths and I felt not only calm and relaxed, but full of life that I couldn’t help but at first smile, and then let out a laugh at how silly it seemed and yet so simple. It’s actually a fun state of mind to reflect back at what had just happened and learn from it. I should have not been rushing for instance, I would never had been as close as I was, so the car in front wouldn’t have seemed to abruptly stop then. When you can reflect back from this place of mindfulness, it seems so clear and you’re less controlled by those impulse emotions. You can guide yourself by your more rationale and true self. The self you have after you get angry, give it some time, have had the opportunity to naturally breath more and bring your blood pressure down, and then think clearly again. We all know of this, and we all experience it, but few of us see value in returning to that place quicker for the sake of our own health. Some of us don’t realize it, but when we dwell in that anger for minutes, sometimes even hours, we’re needlessly hurting our bodies with higher blood pressure and negative emotions. That person may not have even realized he caused this either, and wouldn’t even be giving it a thought, so the only person we’re affecting would be ourselves by dwelling.

I’ve found the idea of Appreciation recently to be very interesting because it ties into Gratitude. It’s easy for us to criticize or find faults in things, events or people we interact with throughout the day, but we rarely see the beauty and are appreciative of it. Some people call this ‘looking at the glass half full as opposed to half empty’, but it goes farther than that. It’s seeing the glass half full, but noticing the glass is neatly designed, just the right size for that moment, and chilled to just the right temperature. These all provide to the experience but we are quick to criticize the amount of liquid first than to be appreciate of everything else that’s already present.

This is a most useful practice when done with people you interact with and your own friends and family. Be more appreciative of the little things; the time and energy someone may have put into an email, that warm sentiment from receiving a handwritten note in a postcard, a greeting at the beginning of the day.

We have this similar idea behind the reasons we give gifts to each other–we want the receiver to feel appreciated. But the gifts can be non material as well. We can simply tell people what we’re inspired by or what we feel is a strength in the person we’re interacting with and this feedback can create positive energy in those we touch.

I met a Frenchman, Philippe, in Leh a couple weeks ago. He was near a monastery we had just visited and on our way back to the city and he ran up asking if he could have a ride. We had an extra spot, so we obliged and heard some interesting stories of his travels throughout India over the past few years with his 5 weeks of vacation he gets from his job in Paris. He loved India and had visited most regions and highlighted tourist areas. He had a very warm personality and he shared with us his favorite places he had seen over the past few weeks in the Ladakh region.

After we arrived in Leh, one thing I was so appreciative of and I wanted to make sure Philippe knew was his warm, bright, and inviting smile. It was wide and open and you just felt happier around him and I made sure to capture this:

It’s what you’re appreciative of that you will continue to remember– I’ll remember Philippe more for his smile and his presence he created with it than how he got in our taxi, the ride to Leh or his adventurous travel stories. That’s because we remember what we’re appreciative of more than certain events, moments, actions or plans.

By sharing what inspires us, it helps others find what inspires them. Be more appreciative of the little things and notice the changes inside yourself.

Filed Under: life Tagged With: appreciation, gratitude, ladakh, leh, philippe

Reflections on WDS Two Weeks Later and 5 Lessons I Learned

July 20, 2012 By ashok 4 Comments

The WDS conference was held a couple weeks ago. It was one of the few events I had pre-planned this year over 6 months in advance. If you haven’t heard about it, you can read more about it here: World Domination Summit.

It’s a gathering of passionate individuals with big ideas that want to make an impact on their own lives or the lives of others.

It’s a gathering of change-makers, innovators, do-ers, the ones who don’t see life as simply something that is happening to them, but something we are deliberately creating with our every breath and want to grab hold of it and start truly living.

I had a hard time describing what the event was to people who would ask me. “What do you do at the World Domination Summit?” they would say. Chris humorously pointed out at the beginning of the conference our standard response should be, “well, isn’t it obvious?”. He went on to describe what it was truly all about. It’s about 3 main things:

1. Community

2. Adventure

3. Service

This was the core philosophy and I took it to mean: Community because this was a gathering of people from all parts of the world that are together because of a single idea — we can do better in this world with our lives. Adventure because you can’t truly feel Joy in what you’re wanting to do unless you absolutely love it and everything you do seems like an adventure. Service because you can’t live a fulfilling life if you do not give back to others.

There were five main things I learned from this unique experience.

1. MAKE YOUR LIFE A STORY WORTH LIVING

I kept describing the scene at WDS like a Sea of Inspiration we were all swimming together in. The Sea was our Stories. The stories that define who we really are, not the one that society tends to define us by. No matter how old you were, or what you were doing currently in your life, you were treated as simply another human being with something to share with the world through your own story. If you had a great story, you were going to get quite a bit of your very own 30-seconds of fame over that weekend.

WDS was not really a conference as it was a gathering where you could meet and connect with those who were on a similar path of living a life truly worth living. Some were on the path, others were trying to find theirs… but it didn’t matter. It was a large Sea of Inspiration and you could gain or give value any way you wished.

It’s the stories we created that will live on inside of us past the next few weeks when the buzz of inspiration has begun to settle down from WDS.

There were so many great moments at WDS.

I met so many great people I can now call friends:

I attended impromptu Meditation sessions organized in the mornings by Nathan Agin, on his own world wide adventures here: Nonestop Awesomeness:

Later that afternoon, I joined an Unconventional Fitness – Yoga in the Park session where the theme was of course related to manifesting Joy.

Later that day I attended a session by Jonathan Fields who I had only heard briefly who mentioned “achieving Joy can be a zillion-sum game: I win, you win, and someone I don’t even know wins.” I found out later that night only that Jonathan’s story included opening a Yoga studio in NY over 10 years ago when he was on his own path from leaving his job as a lawyer behind.

That whole day it seemed like the universe was coalescing to give me brief insights into Joy as many times as possible even as I caught the movie that premiered that night: I’m Fine Thanks.

2. LIVE BY YOUR INNER PURPOSE AND BE PROUD OF IT

I went to SXSW earlier this year and it seemed to be all about personal/business accomplishments over someone’s individual human story.

When you walked around WDS, any interaction you had would typically start with, “What’s your story?”. “What are you passionate about?”. “What makes you truly happy and joyful in this world?”. “What inspired you to be here?”. “To travel thousands of miles to a conference titled ‘The World Domination Summit’?”

This was quite a shift from SXSW where typical interactions were, “Check us out online! We’re awesome! I’m awesome! Here’s some swag! Woooooo!”

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, because it’s all in good fun, but on a personal level, I think there was more to gain on a human level with the interactions that took place at WDS if you were open to them.

It reminds me greatly of Simon Sinek’s brilliant TED talk on living from your Why: “How Great Leaders Inspire Action“. He explains it in terms of business, but it applies to each of us as humans.

3. EMBRACE VULNERABILITY. LIVE WITH JOY. AND DON’T STOP BELIEVING!

I had been anticipating the opening talk by Brené Brown for some months before the event as I had heard a great deal about her and my Yoga teacher had quoted her quite often in her classes. What I ended up experiencing was eye-opening.

If you haven’t heard of her, do yourself a favor and at the very least watch her TED talk: “The power of vulnerability.“.

She focused her talk on Joy and having the gratitude to cultivate it within your life. It was truly about living what she referred to as a Wholehearted life; a life worth living in other words. She’s done years of research on the topic and through her own personal journey has been sharing her insights.

She began with an eye opening demonstration that explains it plainly. She asked everyone to stand up and start laughing as hard as they could. Make whatever they felt like was their signature over-the-top laughter. Many of us fell over laughing and were very expressive in showing this emotion. Then she said, “okay now act cool”. Most of us stayed still. Standing in some pose that signified “being cool”. It was fascinating. As a society, she pointed out, being cool was actually the opposite of what it meant to be Joyful. She said we needed to be uncool and not afraid to let it all out. You need to embrace being vulnerable enough to act the way you truly feel inside. The willingness to maybe laugh uncontrollably in public for instance.

A quote from her talk speaking on Vulnerability- “the only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you’re saying to someone when you’re being uncool”

By the end of her talk, it was fitting she would have everyone get up and dance their hearts out to Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing! Because we shouldn’t stop believing in those things which make us feel absolutely pure Joy inside.

4. THOSE WHO YOU ADMIRE ARE MORE APPROACHABLE / ACCESSIBLE THAN YOU THINK

I had followed another author and blogger, Pamela Slim, for quite a while as well after reading her ‘Escape from Cubicle Nation‘. She’s done talks at corporate offices including Google to help inspire more collaborative and meaningful work environments as well as just helping people who want to start living more fulfilling lives for themselves.

I walked up to her, nervous about introducing myself because I felt weird knowing her but she having no idea who I was. If it wasn’t for Brene Brown’s fiery opening session on being vulnerable I may not have said anything. I’m so glad I did, because Pamela is one of the most down to earth people I met for being an author and well-known figure in the community. She immediately asked me with a warm smile, ‘So what’s your story?’. I told her briefly my story over the past two years and the Joyful Breath Yoga project I’ve been working on the past 5 months; a project closely aligned with higher passions of mine. She ended up being very inspired by the journey I was on and was grateful I approached her to tell her it. This filled me with Joy, knowing that someone I looked up to could find even a small bit to admire in myself. She thanked me for sharing the story and took a picture of us with my Japanese headband to instagram!:

There’s a big life lesson to learn here. What we admire in others, is truly a reflection within ourselves. We see it in others because it’s something we value in ourselves enough to notice. We wouldn’t notice or recognize this trait or source of inspiration if a part of the desire didn’t exist already in us. Truly value yourself… Because you never know what you have inside which can inspire even those who you admire.

5. ACTION

The main take away from WDS though was Action. Among all the inspirational stories, the connections and new friendships, and all the buzz from activity of the weekend, without any action afterwards, any ideas or motivation from the event would simply fade away. I came away with a firm intention of action after that event. I wanted to truly begin living from that place of Joy that Brené Brown spoke about on the first morning of the event. “There is no harder feeling to feel that Joy” she said. That resonated throughout my being, and it likely could be because I’ve been very involved with a project that I feel so passionately about that has the potentially to truly change people’s lives called Joyful Breath Yoga.

The reason I write this is because I could not have imagined I would be able to do this over 2 years ago today. The truth is, it’s never as easy as it seems. It’s easy to see someone like myself able to have the freedom to live and work from anywhere with an internet connection, but beyond the glory of that, you miss the sleepless nights, the uncertainty, the questioning of following the ‘right path’ (whatever that means), and the many hours a week spent non-stop working and weekends that are given up in pursuit of fiercely living a life with purpose.

The WDS conference holds a special place in my heart. It was two years ago I read Chris Guillebeau’s book ‘The Art of Non-Conformity’. I read it at a time when I was seeking what was possible outside the confines of a cubicle life that was slowly sucking my soul away every day. Chris went on an Unconventional Book Tour that year which passed through Cheyenne, WY. I remember there being 6 of us around the table at a small Starbucks there inside a Borders. It was an intimate opportunity for all of us to share our stories with Chris; a change from the larger crowd he drew in Denver on his way over where he had give a short speech in the book store.

I remember telling him briefly my story and feelings on work. I told him my friend Kunjan and I had been running our company Quark Studios on the side of our jobs for many months now and starting to grow some pretty consistent revenue from it but the idea of leaving a very stable and high paying full-time job seemed crazy. Especially when many people would have killed for the job I had, given that the economic crash had just happened a little over a year earlier. But he told me something profound that afternoon that has stuck with me ever since: “many people ask for advice, but it’s not advice you’re looking for. You’re looking for permission. For someone to push you, to light that fire that would get you started and youI already know what to do.” He was right. I did. Less than a month and a half later I put in my two week notice.

I was surprised when I talked with Chris again briefly at the after party that he remembered that afternoon in the little coffee shop in Cheyenne.

Based on Chris’s 3 main points behind the philosophy of WDS, I felt I had covered Community pretty well in 2010, when I became very involved with the Coworking movement that helped me leave my job. I’ve had quite the Adventure growing a company last year at it’s peak to 12 people working together with us and we continue to keep it going this year with around 7.

This year I feel drawn to the third aspect Chris talks about which is Service. He even ended the conference by doing one of the most compassionate things at a conference this size: Investing $100 into each of the 1000 attendees:

So as we all try to find where we fit in or continue on our own journeys, my takeaway has been to remember the three things based on the Core Philosophy of WDS: Stay Inspired through Community. Make your Life an Adventure worth Living. Take Action and don’t forget to be of Service to others.

Filed Under: life, passions Tagged With: WDS 2012

The Sun Rose This Morning as it did Ten Thousand Years Ago

July 3, 2012 By ashok 1 Comment

The sun rising at 5am in Tuticorin, a city in South Tamil Nadu.

The sun rose this morning as it did ten thousand years ago. The only difference is that it is us, together, who get to set the intention and breathe life into experiences on this planet on the shoulders of our ancestors.

I set an intention the Summer of 2010 that I didn’t fit into a corporate lifestyle and I was willing to do anything to get out. Intentions followed by actions allow each and every one of us to manifest lives of our own making and choosing. I did everything to Break out of the 9-5 (read: The Drive to Break out of the 9-5), grew friendships with passionate like-minded individuals (read: Ashok Amaran Remembers his first day Coworking…), and by December of that year left that life behind(read: I Quit).

2011 was the year of rapid growth with our Mobile App and Web Development company Kunjan and I co-founded at Quark Studios. At our peak we had up to 12 people working with us. We don’t like to call anyone who works with us contractors, employees, developers, etc… We call everyone team members because while they are with us and choose to be with us, they are part of our team.

While we grew more freedom in our own lives, working 70-80 hours a week to more reasonable 30-50 hours this year, I set a personal intention earlier this year that I hope to follow through with in this year and years to come.

It was a very personal intention while looking out into the ocean on the shores of Goa, India.

I had just woken up and had a vegetarian breakfast at the Guest Inn I was staying at. The birds were singing, a slight breeze was in the air with a warm heat in mid-January. I attended a morning Hatha Yoga class next door at the studio beside the Inn. The teacher led with an intention she said she was told during a recent teacher training (all the teachers there were students themselves getting trained) which was finding pure stillness to give the mind peace and the body health.

She described a previous evening during one class were many of them were gathered there in front of the Yoga Master expecting to do some advanced postures and were all ready to out-do those standing next to them. Showing off how they were ‘better’ or more ‘far along’ with Yoga because they knew they could do a pose not many others could pretzel themselves into. But what happened was he made everyone stand with their arms stretched out to their sides as if in Goddess pose, and simply hold and Breathe. For 2 hours. Together they all danced with breath in the silence. It was one of the most difficult Yoga classes many of them had ever had and many of them were unable to fully maintain present throughout it. Afterwards he said, ‘There is always room for growth. The one thing that doesn’t ever change is change itself.’

After class, I was on the shore, thinking over what it truly meant to live a happy, fulfilled life. What does it truly mean to be happy? What makes a person love life? What makes them get up every morning and want to live every moment to their fullest?

I got the answer. My answer. It was gratitude. Gratitude for life, for your body, for your health. Not just being healthy, but treating yourself like an actual living temple in this world. Something that even Buddha, Jesus and many others who were ‘Enlightened’ had also said.

“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you” – Jesus
“Every man is the builder of a Temple called his body, nor can he get off by hammering marble instead.” -Henry David Thoreau
“To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.” -Buddha

They were saying to not look at them though; they were saying to look at yourself. Use them as an example, but look inward at yourself because the ability to find peace, love, happiness, strength, good health, and anything you could possibly want is within all of us and has always been. Even if you are unhealthy this moment, illnesses are only a part of our experience. It’s more our intention and how we apply our actions that make a difference in our lives. Why are there so many inspirational stories of cancer survivors like Lance Armstrong? They decide the moment they know of mortality they want to choose life instead. It doesn’t always work out, and can be a tragedy, but it doesn’t mean it was never true. The answer was to be alive. Be absolutely grateful for the breath of air you are taking at this very moment to even read these words.

My intention was then to live a life full of health and happiness for myself and others. No one is perfect, and I’m no where near where I want to be. But I’ve realized this is the intention I want. And I know just like when I set that intention the Summer of 2010, it will come with the following of actions in this journey we call Life.

I’ve been practicing Yoga regularly for almost 9 months now. And one thing you quickly learn in a regular practice if you’re open to it, is Yoga is more than physical poses and postures. It’s more than toning your core and recovering from injury. It is all of these things and many more actually. But underlining it all is that it’s a practice of life itself. A place and time set aside on a mat to return to that stillness I felt on the coastline of Goa. You flow through poses, connecting deeply with your breath, and when you do this regularly for 90 minute classes, you connect with yourself. At the end of every class no matter which you take, you will end in Shavasana. The most important pose in my opinion. It is also known as Corpse pose. You lie in absolute stillness flat on your mat for 5-10 minutes, or longer if you wish. The idea is to return to that place of reflection, and calm yourself down before rushing back out into the busy world again. Do you realize you do this every night though? Every one of us? We have our own personal Shavasanas each night in our beds for 8 hours… We arise from this state renewed each morning allowing us to set a new intention for the day. That’s what a Yoga class gives you. That sense of renewal when you’re able to escape the busy-ness for only 90 minutes and set that new intention for your day. No matter how big or small. This is what I do now each and every morning before I even allow my feet to touch the ground. When they do, I ground myself in intention because it gives us the focus and clarity to stay on track in our ADD fueled world with distractions all around us. Just this past weekend I was so happy to enjoy this state of renewal as I was working on an upcoming project:

Even as I had traveled these past two weeks through Phoenix, San Diego, LA, San Francisco, Seattle and waking up this morning in Vancouver. One thing never changed: I returned to find my own stillness, my own peace, health and clarity each and every morning. My hope is through this new project I’m working on, we can all hope to find it on our own schedules as well by learning to reconnect with our breath.

Today is my birthday. I turned 25 today. It was funny because in the busy-ness of projects I’ve been working on, I had only remembered a day before. The truth is, the sun rose this morning as it did ten thousand years ago. It will rise again tomorrow. I love that it’s my birthday today. People will recognize it, no doubt post on my Facebook, and attempt to contact me throughout the day, but this day is grateful to me because it contains life. Life is a gift. And we should treat everyday like it’s our birthday because it truly is.

Filed Under: life, passions

Wake Up Each Morning with a Smile on Your Face

May 27, 2012 By ashok Leave a Comment

About 6 and a half years ago, I was in what I would probably consider the most depressing state of my life. Not in terms of my situation, but in the way I felt. It seems to be common in our first world country to find negativity in the face of all that is a positive. We get depressed even when we live in abundance of opportunity and prosperity. It’s a point in my life that’s been a constant reminder of how helpless, hopeless, and painful life can feel.

It was December 2005. I had just finished my first semester at college and I felt confused about everything in life. Part of it was living independently for the first time, and part of it was not being ready for the shift in social dynamics from high school to college. Throughout high school and most of my life prior, I was very involved competitively with tennis and I had my circle of friends I used to play tennis with and go to tournaments regularly. I felt a sense of belonging in some way, knowing and interacting with all these friends on the court; it blinded me from how disconnected I was to all of my friends at school and the limited activities I participated in because any free time went to practicing tennis. As soon as high school ended, so did my years of playing competitively, and also the end of seeing most of the people I considered friends through that sport. It left me with a very small circle of friends who I’d always known throughout elementary and middle school.

It wasn’t until I started college did it sink in how much I had lost by not being able to regularly play tennis and have that sense of community around me. It also didn’t help that the over-achiever in me signed up for advanced courses to begin the first semester. When winter break on December of 2005 came around, I was a mess. Confused what direction the next steps of my life were taking, I had struggled in my classes and ended up with the lowest grades of my life (GPA of 0.69), I had severe social anxiety to even ask for help, and didn’t even know who my friends were anymore. I was in a state of utter despair, not having anyone to talk with or the courage to tell anyone including my parents. I let it all sink within myself as I typically do with most things. It felt like an anvil pulling the weight of my whole being down constantly from the inside. The thought of going out and doing anything felt like a major task as if I was tied to an iron ball and it would require lots of effort. I got to the point of not wanting to be awake during the day and began sleeping at 10am and waking up as the sun was setting at 7pm. I filled my days (or nights) by staying at home watching one movie after the other. I didn’t want this winter break to end or I’d have to talk to people again, but I also wondered what was so wrong with me. Why I wasn’t able to have fun like those around me or have anything interesting or meaningful to be a part of. I felt truly broken and incomplete.

I don’t remember how I found it, but I came across a book one night that winter called “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times”. It would be dramatic to say reading that book changed everything but it did illuminate this dark tunnel I found myself in just enough. The bhuddist wisdom within the book gave me a deeper interest in a few things and I started just reading more in general, but after that I was motivated to apply to a job I felt I could be really good at and really wanted at KU. I had been eying it for a few weeks and never had the courage to even try for it because, like everything else, I felt I wasn’t going to be accepted. To my surprise, I got contacted in for an interview and within a couple days I was hired as a member of the ResNet staff which was responsible for troubleshooting computers and helping students connect to the Internet in their dorms. It didn’t seem like it at the time, but this is what changed everything. I was now a part of something and the most important piece– I was able to offer help to others with some talents and knowledge I had. I was able to give back and in doing so received a sense of fulfillment. I met so many great people working there for over 3 years and learned and grew in ways that would have never been possible if I hadn’t had that opportunity. I’m also very fortunate KU had a special policy for first semester grades that they could be replaced if taken again only within the first year. I took all those classes again and finished that first year with a GPA above 3.

Things have not always been easy or rosy since that time, but it was such a low point that it served as a constant barometer to me ever since on how bad things could be. I also learned that it’s only within ourselves we can find the courage and strength to get out of such situations. It always starts with us. We sometimes think the world is out to get us, or we keep getting dealt the bad cards in life, but we fail to ask what it is about ourselves that is holding us back from being where we want to be or doing what we want to do. Sometimes it’s a simple act of courage walking momentarily outside your comfort zone to the sea of possibility that lies there. Life doesn’t happen to you; you are creating your life in every moment by the thoughts you’re thinking, the actions you’re making and every breath you take. Any moment it could all be gone; in a tragic upheaval, the slightest of accidents. Some people wait to accept this until their last breath but it doesn’t have to be that way.

A friend of mine recently said it was his experience that practice leads to discipline which leads to abundance, but it begins to erode if you don’t complete that cycle again by practicing. One thing that you can start practicing is being grateful for the start of every day by cracking a smile when you wake up.

The sun still shines today as it did 6 years ago. Just being alive and taking that first breath into waking consciousness is such a blessing. It’s a new day with new possibilities. We can cherish the very fact we are here in this moment, being allowed to experience it with all our senses and personal well being. Treat that waking moment with the greatest joy in this world! We are here! We are present! If we find it difficult to be grateful for anything in our lives, the simple gift of that first breath we take every morning can be a wonderful reminder of how precious it is to be alive right now. Treat that moment with a wide smile that resonates through your being and feel the gratitude of it!

Filed Under: life Tagged With: gratitude, smile

Loving Life between our Goals and Accomplishments

May 10, 2012 By ashok 2 Comments

Image from: http://moneysavingmom.com/2012/05/10-goals-for-this-week-13.html

I’ve been thinking a lot about goals and achievements lately. As an entrepreneur, one of the many challenges in running a business is keeping yourself grounded enough to see the immense value in everything you do and how you’re making a difference when the goals are much more rigid and ever-changing than when you’re simply working at a job and climbing a very visible ladder.

Goals and achievements are the pinnacle of societies across the world and rooted in our human condition of wanting to succeed. We want to be successful, recognized, and accomplish something meaningful. It’s what keeps us sane and able to continue what we do. We set up structures of achievements throughout our life: graduating high school, acceptance into colleges, getting hired for a new job, being recognized with a promotion, marrying, having children, and allowing this cycle to continue. While these are all amazing moments, they are simply that: moments. They are moments in time coupled with many other million moments in time we experience throughout our lives. We have more moments in our life that we don’t remember than the ones we do because we choose to only remember the high and low points. We live on a moving curve of ups and downs which map the stories of our life like a performance of acts in a play. We all dance together in this beautiful journey we call life.

Life is fragile though. So very fragile. It can bring us to tears when we remember this. Sometimes it’s in moments of our own pain and suffering and other times during a tragic or untimely death. Death shows us in plain sight the existential problem to human existence. While we are amazingly creative and infinitely capable of anything within our imagination, we are limited by these bodies of flesh that make up who we are. We can dream up rockets and planes that extend our literal human capabilities, but we all suffer the same fate at some moment: death. It changes us, forever. When we know of our mortality or when we remember it, we become better people. We put aside the petty drama of our lives and look at our higher purpose. We understand we are not merely here to exist, but to thrive. Our goals and accomplishments are not just milestones, they’re sign posts that show us a direction to take. Life happens in experiences between these posts so the goals and accomplishments are not the most important moments in our lives. It’s as if the cover of a book is our present moment and the back is the goal; the real story is told through the many pages in-between. We only truly ever exist in the present moment. The moment you’re existing in right now, inhaling each breathe of air, is your life. We should never forget that as we continue the path to our goals. The human condition is surreal– we can create any life for ourselves, a river of possibility from our imagination and desires, and yet at the same time we experience every little moment that leads there. That’s the purpose of goals and accomplishments. Giving us a start and end point on which to steer ourselves through the experiences of life. We can choose a life worth living by setting the start and end points that we want to see for ourselves and then experiencing the magic of life in the middle.

We must start with the now and fill ourselves with everything we love; our best self. When you live life from your best self, you are always giving this to others. That is the most valuable gift you could ever give this world.

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A friend of mine recently sent me a letter saying they were upset at negativity directed at them from a wall post on Facebook. A blunt insult and a pure form of bullying that caused real pain when it was read. Bullying is actually a sign of insecurity within the bully that is being made up for by bringing someone else down. But this friend is a yoga teacher who recently finished training in India and I felt compelled to reflect back some wisdom that I probably gained from her to begin with. After sending it, I realized how much I needed the reminder as well. Life has a funny way of manifesting exactly what you need at the right moment if you take the time to “stop and smell the roses”:

From the depths of the darkness and fire, we rise more resilient and stronger as a Phoenix from ashes. The negativity, scattered throughout our experiences, is present to highlight the contrast to those aware so we may clearly see the positivity, the bliss. Revealing the north star toward the light, away from our shadow.

Remember in Yoga we return to our mats with a goal, an intention. But it is not the intention that is the purpose of the practice. It’s the direction the present moment takes due to that intention. Therefor, it’s not about ever reaching a goal, but following the path and being present. The paths we never would have considered or taken if we hadn’t returned to the mat, hadn’t given time to contemplation. That journey is the practice.

“What is great in man is that he is a bridge and not an end” -Nietzsche

Like a plant, we grow to a certain point in our lives when we’re able to start creating seeds and putting them out into the world to let new plants grow and thrive. All past generations give us their creations in order for us to create in their shadow when they no longer can. As if we keep passing the torch of life on to the children of every new generation. Our entire lives are rooted in the lives of millions of others who have come and gone and we are all connected like the branches of a single tree.

So what is at the heart of our goals and accomplishments? I believe it is love.

Not a romantic love, although that is a powerful force which can help us learn about true love. True love is limitless, unconditional love for everything in existence. It is the releasing of all negativity, jealousy, pain, suffering and fear within ourselves that all we have left is pure love.

The force that binds all life together by a silver thread. This thread weaves itself between our present moment and all our goals. When we look for the silver lining in any moment, we are finding this. That blissful experience you find in even the most difficult of times that fills you with an immense joy reminding you that you are still alive and grateful for every breathe you take. That is love.

Love is the binding force between all things in this universe. The unexplainable outpouring of love that overwhelms us when we first see our children born. The feelings between two star crossed lovers as if the world melts between their arms. The compassion and kindness we all feel during a heartwarming story and which we call “pulling on our heart strings”. The emotions that are felt so profoundly that they are so deeply personal like how an Adele song vibrates through us and we hear it in our hearts. When we reach far within ourselves, we begin to hear each-other’s soul, softly between the beats of our heart and the rhythm of every breath. The heart has the second most nerve endings in our body after our brain so we can not only metaphorically, but literally “think” from our hearts. From empathy and understanding as opposed to the ego of mind. This is the pure state of love.

The heart only knows how to love. It pumps the blood throughout our bodies rejuvenating every cell with fresh nutrients and oxygen without any questions. Whether our minds choose to be an angry or kind person to the world, the heart never judges and continues to pump away this life giving energy until it no longer can. There’s universal wisdom in the power of our heart and ability to love.

One of my favorite movies of all time which depicts love in the most authentic way is Before Sunrise. The story is of romantic love between two travelers, but the underlining theme is of literal timeless love by the end when Ethan Hawke looks up at the clocks in Vienna. I absolutely loved a video I found by a filmmaker, Jason Silva, who talks about this. He created short bursts of what he calls “philosophical espresso” and uses the topic of love in one of them. What resonated profoundly when I first saw it was his recollection of the brilliance behind Richard Linklater’s Before Sunrise:

What Jason comes to by the end is the beauty of life: “Love is the answer to human existence but it does not solve the problem of human existence”.

Spread love into the world any way you can. Many ripples make vast changes in the ocean of life.

Filed Under: life, passions Tagged With: accomplishments, goals, jason, life, love, silva

30 Days of Gratitude Challenge

April 16, 2012 By ashok Leave a Comment

Tax day is upon us and while many of us are feeling upset or resentful, I think it’s important we continue to look at the bigger picture.

I went to a great talk over the weekend by Max Strom. I was intrigued to see him because I had read his book A Life Worth Breathing while traveling around the shores of Goa, India this past January. It was held on the Plaza in KC and entitled “The Healing Power of Forgiveness”. The primary thesis of his talk was the releasing of Anger in our bodies. He believes that by simply not forgiving others or ourselves, we unknowingly harbor anger and resentment inside of us which causes us (and those around us) to feel pain mentally, emotionally, and will later manifest physically.

One solution was to be thankful before anything else. Gratitude is the highest virtue. The virtue where all other virtues come from. In any moment of anger, despair, or state of unhappiness, the virtue of gratitude can change everything.

He recalled a story of a man who seemed grumbly and annoyed at the beginning of a Yoga class. He was just upset and wanting to do some Yoga to help get over it. The theme of the class was Gratitude and the simple reminder of the gratitude he felt towards his 3 year old daughter brought him instantaneously to tears. The emotions from anger to sadness in an instant. It triggers something deep within us. A sort of catharsis from the trials and struggles of the world, a moment of gratitude centers us and brings us back to our meaning and purpose in life. Our accomplishments and greatness. Our goodness and compassion which resides in all of us, no matter how much it is covered by the baggage we carry around from our interactions in the world.

Anger was a primary topic in Max’s talk because he felt without forgiveness, some form of anger is always present. Sometimes we don’t even realize how our anger affects ourselves or those around us. A simple act of anger directed at one person could affects thousands.

He mentioned a story about a Yoga studio he was teaching at with a class of about 50 people and it was one of those peaceful classes you just got a sense of calmness after it was over; everyone was relaxing in the final corpse pose, letting all their worries melt away. Suddenly through the LA traffic outside the window, a man honks his horn, the loud kind, where he leans on it. And he leans on it 3 times and it sounds like someone yelling with a horn. At that moment, he noticed 50 people in the studio get jolted for a moment. 50 nervous systems that were in peace, suddenly in shock with a slight rise in blood pressure. Next to the studio, there were at least 2 other rooms with at least 20-30 people, and along that street, many restaurants where that sudden noise could have been heard. Above these restaurants were residential lofts with potential tenants and more families that may have been temporarily shocked for a moment. One man, stuck in traffic, venting frustration over a person in front of him; possibly the light had turned green, and the person in front was a second too slow in moving. This sudden burst of anger directed at this one person had the power to affect the bodies of others, without the driver likely even realizing it. We sometimes forget we live in a collective world experiencing our realities together. Our actions, thoughts, and even feelings have tangible effects on others even if we aren’t consciously aware of it. He made this point sink in especially to those who were mothers and fathers because this can have implications when considering your state of mind around your own kids. Are you unintentionally directing anger towards them? Can they hear you screaming/yelling at each other? Kids are also more sensitive to subtle feelings of negativity that we tend to lose as we get older.

In order to achieve true forgiveness in any situation, Max said you must release the anger within yourself towards that which you are attempting to forgive. By not forgiving you can only be holding some level of anger. Allowing it to reside in this state becomes a self-imposed prison. A prison of resentment and contempt. It’s akin he mentioned to swallowing poison and hoping another will die. You can only hurt yourself if you harbor that resentment against another. Continually brooding on the past in this way creates patterns in your mind of negativity. This negativity continues in a vicious cycle which soon spreads through your body in certain ways (high blood pressure, high stress, fear, etc.). We tend to focus on these negative moments, the drama, the gossip, rather than playing back our most precious and joyful moments. We for some reason choose to play back upsetting moments in our minds thousands of times in comparison to only a few times the moments that made us cry in pure happiness. He made the analogy that it was almost like everyday we would have 2 options of movies to play within our minds: a horror movie of events from our past or a movie about our greatest accomplishments or happiest times. We choose to place this horror movie in our minds and press play over and over again and the effects are simply reflected in ourselves. The people we resent or feel anger towards don’t feel this when you’re thinking about them. They could be living their own life of gratitude and maybe in a moment of regret they hurt you in some way which left you to hold that grudge. Even if they hadn’t, in the end you have no way of knowing and are literally hurting yourself.

He gave the analogy that it is almost like keeping a hot coal in your body, burning a hole inside of you slowly. This analogy he gave was the simplest way to explain it. Imagine your friend seeing you swallow a hot coal. He tells you “No! No! Don’t swallow it! You’re only hurting yourself!”. But you do it anyways; you tell him it’s not right and you shouldn’t have to forgive this act and so you will hold on to the coal. Without spitting the coal out, in the end, you simple continue to hurt yourself. No matter how terrible the act was.

He made it very clear however that while you forgive, you don’t give up your choices you make afterwards, your boundaries, or even your ethics or morals. You can always forgive a person but never condone an action that was committed. You can forgive the person and release your own anger while continuing to condemn the acts of the perpetrator.

He gave some examples of people who live their lives in this way. The Dalai Lama is a household name and is known for his jovial presence wherever he is. Throughout his life, he has much to be hateful for, to be angry towards; all the atrocities committed in Tibet which led to his exile. He could even hold resentment towards China today, but he doesn’t. He forgives China, but is an activist and speaks about the change he wants to see. He practices a religion of kindness because to feel any other way would be internally counter-productive to his well being.

Nelson mandala was known for saying he forgave his captors when leaving prison because he felt he would still be in a prison if he couldn’t do so.

Max then told a touching story of a father of a teenage girl who was raped and murdered by a serial killer who cried and forgave the killer at the trial. When the media asked him afterwards how he could forgive such a man, he said he couldn’t imagine the father he’d be to his other children if he held a deep seated hatred towards the killer. He did not want there to be any barriers for him to give pure love to his children. And so he cried and forgave a man that did the unspeakable because he wanted to release the anger from himself while never condoning the act itself.

Without even really thinking about it, I’ve had the above picture as my wallpaper on my computer since last Thanksgiving and coincidentally around the time I even wrote a post entitled “Gratitude”. I did it to remind myself to be grateful for even a moment every time I opened my laptop. One exercise Max mentioned during his talk was the practice of gratitude at the end of each day. I want to adapt this for myself and so am challenging not only myself but anyone else who wants to join in to do so. The task is simple.

For the next 30 days, in a small journal or notebook, write down 5 things you are grateful for before going to bed. They can be as simple as the air you are breathing right now. Just feel in your heart what makes you so thankful at the present moment and write it down. You will now be thinking for at least a moment every night about the happy and wonderful things in your life you take for granted every day. A small change can make a big impact. It takes 30 days to form a habit. I will be posting my daily entries the next 30 days to Twitter and Facebook with the hashtags “#30days of #gratitude”. Join me in this challenge either publicly or privately on your own and just objectively see the change it has on your life. I hope we can collectively become more grateful together.

Filed Under: life, passions Tagged With: adventure, anger, gratitude, habits, healing, max strom, resentment

Be There for Yourself

March 24, 2012 By ashok 3 Comments

We live in such a hyper-active and responsive world. Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, and a corporate world filled with deadlines.

What we have to realize is that it is all noise. The most important thing in this world is yourself. You have to be kind to yourself first before you get overwhelmed with the distractions of our world.

If you are not there for yourself, how can you be there for your family? Your friends? It starts with yourself.

If you don’t know what you want to do or who you want to be, how can you show others? How can you teach others? How can you be an example?

There is a large misconception that how old you are plays a role in who you are or can become. We tend to define our lives by age and the expectations of society. It ends up being the ‘time’ to get a job, the ‘time’ to get a car, the ‘time’ to get a house, the ‘time’ to get married, but there is no such thing as the ‘right time’. Time is all relative. To one person it may be the right time, while to another it may be woefully the wrong time.
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You are only as old as you feel.

Seth Godin wrote a post recently entitled ‘Fifty is the new thirty‘. In a way, he mentions the vastly changing landscape of our society which is allowing for those who are older to make larger impacts in the world.

When I was in Peru last year, the group I had been trekking with for 4 days had settled down in the town of Aguas Calientes to rest up before the hike to Machu Picchu at 4am. We arrived mid-day and were free to roam around town before convening for dinner at night. There were two women in this group in their 50s. I mentioned them in an earlier post about this day at Aguas Calientes as the Floridian and the New Yorker. My friend Nathan and I had walked around town and were just passing by a bar where we noticed the Floridian and New Yorker enjoying their time over a Cerveza. We still had two hours before the dinner so we decided to share that moment with them. We had never had the chance to learn about the paths that had led each of us to this trek at that point in time. The Floridian mentioned that time apart and geographical locations have never been able to separate the two of them who met in junior high for the first time about 40 years earlier. A simple phone call from either could instantly bring them back together as if little time had transpired between them. The decision to hike Machu Picchu was less than a two minute phone call with both of them deciding on a date for the trek after having not even spoken to one another in 6 months. To them, even as busy mothers, it was just as important to fit in experiences of things they dreamed of doing as it was to do the things they were obligated to do in their day to day life.

What I realized from their story is that while so many of us say we can’t do something, it typically is not that we can’t, but rather we feel bounded by the structure of our lives. We live a certain way and the possibilities of things can only exist within this realm of possibility we’ve created for ourselves. We lose sight of the infinite, the boundless capabilities within ourselves. We instead think ‘if only I had a better body’, ‘if only it was the 80s again’. We crave the ‘good old days’ rather than living each day like those or creating new ones. We all have the capacity to make an impact, small or large. It’s just a matter if we choose to or not.

We’re infinite beings bound in human flesh. We can create with limitless possibilities using the power of our mind and are only constrained by our physical bodies.

Plato wrote about the ‘Allegory of the Cave‘ many centuries ago. If you are not familiar, see the short video explanation below done by this artist with clay:

To these prisoners, the cave was not merely a cave, it was their whole universe.

We must not allow the cave of current experiences to define what is possible in our life.

Imagine your life as a vessel of water as well as everyone else around you. As a vessel, the one and only thing you can give to another person is some of your water. However, if you haven’t been able to keep your vessel full of water, you will not have anything to give to others. You must take care of your own water first, your own energy, your own well-being.

Fill your own vessel so you may share your gifts with others.

Filed Under: life Tagged With: allegory of the cave, be there, infinite, Plato, possibility, seth godin, young, yourself