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Loving Life between our Goals and Accomplishments

May 10, 2012 By 2 Comments

Image from: http://moneysavingmom.com/2012/05/10-goals-for-this-week-13.html

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about goals and achievements lately. As an entrepreneur, one of the many challenges in running a business is keeping yourself grounded enough to see the immense value in everything you do and how you’re making a difference when the goals are much more rigid and ever-changing than when you’re simply working at a job and climbing a very visible ladder.

Goals and achievements are the pinnacle of societies across the world and rooted in our human condition of wanting to succeed. We want to be successful, recognized, and accomplish something meaningful. It’s what keeps us sane and able to continue what we do. We set up structures of achievements throughout our life: graduating high school, acceptance into colleges, getting hired for a new job, being recognized with a promotion, marrying, having children, and allowing this cycle to continue. While these are all amazing moments, they are simply that: moments. They are moments in time coupled with many other million moments in time we experience throughout our lives. We have more moments in our life that we don’t remember than the ones we do because we choose to only remember the high and low points. We live on a moving curve of ups and downs which map the stories of our life like a performance of acts in a play. We all dance together in this beautiful journey we call life.

Life is fragile though. So very fragile. It can bring us to tears when we remember this. Sometimes it’s in moments of our own pain and suffering and other times during a tragic or untimely death. Death shows us in plain sight the existential problem to human existence. While we are amazingly creative and infinitely capable of anything within our imagination, we are limited by these bodies of flesh that make up who we are. We can dream up rockets and planes that extend our literal human capabilities, but we all suffer the same fate at some moment: death. It changes us, forever. When we know of our mortality or when we remember it, we become better people. We put aside the petty drama of our lives and look at our higher purpose. We understand we are not merely here to exist, but to thrive. Our goals and accomplishments are not just milestones, they’re sign posts that show us a direction to take. Life happens in experiences between these posts so the goals and accomplishments are not the most important moments in our lives. It’s as if the cover of a book is our present moment and the back is the goal; the real story is told through the many pages in-between. We only truly ever exist in the present moment. The moment you’re existing in right now, inhaling each breathe of air, is your life. We should never forget that as we continue the path to our goals. The human condition is surreal– we can create any life for ourselves, a river of possibility from our imagination and desires, and yet at the same time we experience every little moment that leads there. That’s the purpose of goals and accomplishments. Giving us a start and end point on which to steer ourselves through the experiences of life. We can choose a life worth living by setting the start and end points that we want to see for ourselves and then experiencing the magic of life in the middle.

We must start with the now and fill ourselves with everything we love; our best self. When you live life from your best self, you are always giving this to others. That is the most valuable gift you could ever give this world.

**
A friend of mine recently sent me a letter saying they were upset at negativity directed at them from a wall post on Facebook. A blunt insult and a pure form of bullying that caused real pain when it was read. Bullying is actually a sign of insecurity within the bully that is being made up for by bringing someone else down. But this friend is a yoga teacher who recently finished training in India and I felt compelled to reflect back some wisdom that I probably gained from her to begin with. After sending it, I realized how much I needed the reminder as well. Life has a funny way of manifesting exactly what you need at the right moment if you take the time to “stop and smell the roses”:

From the depths of the darkness and fire, we rise more resilient and stronger as a Phoenix from ashes. The negativity, scattered throughout our experiences, is present to highlight the contrast to those aware so we may clearly see the positivity, the bliss. Revealing the north star toward the light, away from our shadow.

Remember in Yoga we return to our mats with a goal, an intention. But it is not the intention that is the purpose of the practice. It’s the direction the present moment takes due to that intention. Therefor, it’s not about ever reaching a goal, but following the path and being present. The paths we never would have considered or taken if we hadn’t returned to the mat, hadn’t given time to contemplation. That journey is the practice.

“What is great in man is that he is a bridge and not an end” -Nietzsche

**

Like a plant, we grow to a certain point in our lives when we’re able to start creating seeds and putting them out into the world to let new plants grow and thrive. All past generations give us their creations in order for us to create in their shadow when they no longer can. As if we keep passing the torch of life on to the children of every new generation. Our entire lives are rooted in the lives of millions of others who have come and gone and we are all connected like the branches of a single tree.

So what is at the heart of our goals and accomplishments? I believe it is love.

Not a romantic love, although that is a powerful force which can help us learn about true love. True love is limitless, unconditional love for everything in existence. It is the releasing of all negativity, jealousy, pain, suffering and fear within ourselves that all we have left is pure love.

The force that binds all life together by a silver thread. This thread weaves itself between our present moment and all our goals. When we look for the silver lining in any moment, we are finding this. That blissful experience you find in even the most difficult of times that fills you with an immense joy reminding you that you are still alive and grateful for every breathe you take. That is love.

Love is the binding force between all things in this universe. The unexplainable outpouring of love that overwhelms us when we first see our children born. The feelings between two star crossed lovers as if the world melts between their arms. The compassion and kindness we all feel during a heartwarming story and which we call “pulling on our heart strings”. The emotions that are felt so profoundly that they are so deeply personal like how an Adele song vibrates through us and we hear it in our hearts. When we reach far within ourselves, we begin to hear each-other’s soul, softly between the beats of our heart and the rhythm of every breath. The heart has the second most nerve endings in our body after our brain so we can not only metaphorically, but literally “think” from our hearts. From empathy and understanding as opposed to the ego of mind. This is the pure state of love.

The heart only knows how to love. It pumps the blood throughout our bodies rejuvenating every cell with fresh nutrients and oxygen without any questions. Whether our minds choose to be an angry or kind person to the world, the heart never judges and continues to pump away this life giving energy until it no longer can. There’s universal wisdom in the power of our heart and ability to love.

One of my favorite movies of all time which depicts love in the most authentic way is Before Sunrise. The story is of romantic love between two travelers, but the underlining theme is of literal timeless love by the end when Ethan Hawke looks up at the clocks in Vienna. I absolutely loved a video I found by a filmmaker, Jason Silva, who talks about this. He created short bursts of what he calls “philosophical espresso” and uses the topic of love in one of them. What resonated profoundly when I first saw it was his recollection of the brilliance behind Richard Linklater’s Before Sunrise:

What Jason comes to by the end is the beauty of life: “Love is the answer to human existence but it does not solve the problem of human existence”.

Spread love into the world any way you can. Many ripples make vast changes in the ocean of life.



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30 Days of Gratitude Challenge

April 16, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Tax day is upon us and while many of us are feeling upset or resentful, I think it’s important we continue to look at the bigger picture.

I went to a great talk over the weekend by Max Strom. I was intrigued to see him because I had read his book A Life Worth Breathing while traveling around the shores of Goa, India this past January. It was held on the Plaza in KC and entitled “The Healing Power of Forgiveness”. The primary thesis of his talk was the releasing of Anger in our bodies. He believes that by simply not forgiving others or ourselves, we unknowingly harbor anger and resentment inside of us which causes us (and those around us) to feel pain mentally, emotionally, and will later manifest physically.

One solution was to be thankful before anything else. Gratitude is the highest virtue. The virtue where all other virtues come from. In any moment of anger, despair, or state of unhappiness, the virtue of gratitude can change everything.

He recalled a story of a man who seemed grumbly and annoyed at the beginning of a Yoga class. He was just upset and wanting to do some Yoga to help get over it. The theme of the class was Gratitude and the simple reminder of the gratitude he felt towards his 3 year old daughter brought him instantaneously to tears. The emotions from anger to sadness in an instant. It triggers something deep within us. A sort of catharsis from the trials and struggles of the world, a moment of gratitude centers us and brings us back to our meaning and purpose in life. Our accomplishments and greatness. Our goodness and compassion which resides in all of us, no matter how much it is covered by the baggage we carry around from our interactions in the world.

Anger was a primary topic in Max’s talk because he felt without forgiveness, some form of anger is always present. Sometimes we don’t even realize how our anger affects ourselves or those around us. A simple act of anger directed at one person could affects thousands.

He mentioned a story about a Yoga studio he was teaching at with a class of about 50 people and it was one of those peaceful classes you just got a sense of calmness after it was over; everyone was relaxing in the final corpse pose, letting all their worries melt away. Suddenly through the LA traffic outside the window, a man honks his horn, the loud kind, where he leans on it. And he leans on it 3 times and it sounds like someone yelling with a horn. At that moment, he noticed 50 people in the studio get jolted for a moment. 50 nervous systems that were in peace, suddenly in shock with a slight rise in blood pressure. Next to the studio, there were at least 2 other rooms with at least 20-30 people, and along that street, many restaurants where that sudden noise could have been heard. Above these restaurants were residential lofts with potential tenants and more families that may have been temporarily shocked for a moment. One man, stuck in traffic, venting frustration over a person in front of him; possibly the light had turned green, and the person in front was a second too slow in moving. This sudden burst of anger directed at this one person had the power to affect the bodies of others, without the driver likely even realizing it. We sometimes forget we live in a collective world experiencing our realities together. Our actions, thoughts, and even feelings have tangible effects on others even if we aren’t consciously aware of it. He made this point sink in especially to those who were mothers and fathers because this can have implications when considering your state of mind around your own kids. Are you unintentionally directing anger towards them? Can they hear you screaming/yelling at each other? Kids are also more sensitive to subtle feelings of negativity that we tend to lose as we get older.

In order to achieve true forgiveness in any situation, Max said you must release the anger within yourself towards that which you are attempting to forgive. By not forgiving you can only be holding some level of anger. Allowing it to reside in this state becomes a self-imposed prison. A prison of resentment and contempt. It’s akin he mentioned to swallowing poison and hoping another will die. You can only hurt yourself if you harbor that resentment against another. Continually brooding on the past in this way creates patterns in your mind of negativity. This negativity continues in a vicious cycle which soon spreads through your body in certain ways (high blood pressure, high stress, fear, etc.). We tend to focus on these negative moments, the drama, the gossip, rather than playing back our most precious and joyful moments. We for some reason choose to play back upsetting moments in our minds thousands of times in comparison to only a few times the moments that made us cry in pure happiness. He made the analogy that it was almost like everyday we would have 2 options of movies to play within our minds: a horror movie of events from our past or a movie about our greatest accomplishments or happiest times. We choose to place this horror movie in our minds and press play over and over again and the effects are simply reflected in ourselves. The people we resent or feel anger towards don’t feel this when you’re thinking about them. They could be living their own life of gratitude and maybe in a moment of regret they hurt you in some way which left you to hold that grudge. Even if they hadn’t, in the end you have no way of knowing and are literally hurting yourself.

He gave the analogy that it is almost like keeping a hot coal in your body, burning a hole inside of you slowly. This analogy he gave was the simplest way to explain it. Imagine your friend seeing you swallow a hot coal. He tells you “No! No! Don’t swallow it! You’re only hurting yourself!”. But you do it anyways; you tell him it’s not right and you shouldn’t have to forgive this act and so you will hold on to the coal. Without spitting the coal out, in the end, you simple continue to hurt yourself. No matter how terrible the act was.

He made it very clear however that while you forgive, you don’t give up your choices you make afterwards, your boundaries, or even your ethics or morals. You can always forgive a person but never condone an action that was committed. You can forgive the person and release your own anger while continuing to condemn the acts of the perpetrator.

He gave some examples of people who live their lives in this way. The Dalai Lama is a household name and is known for his jovial presence wherever he is. Throughout his life, he has much to be hateful for, to be angry towards; all the atrocities committed in Tibet which led to his exile. He could even hold resentment towards China today, but he doesn’t. He forgives China, but is an activist and speaks about the change he wants to see. He practices a religion of kindness because to feel any other way would be internally counter-productive to his well being.

Nelson mandala was known for saying he forgave his captors when leaving prison because he felt he would still be in a prison if he couldn’t do so.

Max then told a touching story of a father of a teenage girl who was raped and murdered by a serial killer who cried and forgave the killer at the trial. When the media asked him afterwards how he could forgive such a man, he said he couldn’t imagine the father he’d be to his other children if he held a deep seated hatred towards the killer. He did not want there to be any barriers for him to give pure love to his children. And so he cried and forgave a man that did the unspeakable because he wanted to release the anger from himself while never condoning the act itself.


Without even really thinking about it, I’ve had the above picture as my wallpaper on my computer since last Thanksgiving and coincidentally around the time I even wrote a post entitled “Gratitude”. I did it to remind myself to be grateful for even a moment every time I opened my laptop. One exercise Max mentioned during his talk was the practice of gratitude at the end of each day. I want to adapt this for myself and so am challenging not only myself but anyone else who wants to join in to do so. The task is simple.

For the next 30 days, in a small journal or notebook, write down 5 things you are grateful for before going to bed. They can be as simple as the air you are breathing right now. Just feel in your heart what makes you so thankful at the present moment and write it down. You will now be thinking for at least a moment every night about the happy and wonderful things in your life you take for granted every day. A small change can make a big impact. It takes 30 days to form a habit. I will be posting my daily entries the next 30 days to Twitter and Facebook with the hashtags “#30days of #gratitude”. Join me in this challenge either publicly or privately on your own and just objectively see the change it has on your life. I hope we can collectively become more grateful together.



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Be There for Yourself

March 24, 2012 By 3 Comments

We live in such a hyper-active and responsive world. Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, and a corporate world filled with deadlines.

What we have to realize is that it is all noise. The most important thing in this world is yourself. You have to be kind to yourself first before you get overwhelmed with the distractions of our world.

If you are not there for yourself, how can you be there for your family? Your friends? It starts with yourself.

If you don’t know what you want to do or who you want to be, how can you show others? How can you teach others? How can you be an example?

There is a large misconception that how old you are plays a role in who you are or can become. We tend to define our lives by age and the expectations of society. It ends up being the ‘time’ to get a job, the ‘time’ to get a car, the ‘time’ to get a house, the ‘time’ to get married, but there is no such thing as the ‘right time’. Time is all relative. To one person it may be the right time, while to another it may be woefully the wrong time.
**
You are only as old as you feel.

Seth Godin wrote a post recently entitled ‘Fifty is the new thirty‘. In a way, he mentions the vastly changing landscape of our society which is allowing for those who are older to make larger impacts in the world.

When I was in Peru last year, the group I had been trekking with for 4 days had settled down in the town of Aguas Calientes to rest up before the hike to Machu Picchu at 4am. We arrived mid-day and were free to roam around town before convening for dinner at night. There were two women in this group in their 50s. I mentioned them in an earlier post about this day at Aguas Calientes as the Floridian and the New Yorker. My friend Nathan and I had walked around town and were just passing by a bar where we noticed the Floridian and New Yorker enjoying their time over a Cerveza. We still had two hours before the dinner so we decided to share that moment with them. We had never had the chance to learn about the paths that had led each of us to this trek at that point in time. The Floridian mentioned that time apart and geographical locations have never been able to separate the two of them who met in junior high for the first time about 40 years earlier. A simple phone call from either could instantly bring them back together as if little time had transpired between them. The decision to hike Machu Picchu was less than a two minute phone call with both of them deciding on a date for the trek after having not even spoken to one another in 6 months. To them, even as busy mothers, it was just as important to fit in experiences of things they dreamed of doing as it was to do the things they were obligated to do in their day to day life.

What I realized from their story is that while so many of us say we can’t do something, it typically is not that we can’t, but rather we feel bounded by the structure of our lives. We live a certain way and the possibilities of things can only exist within this realm of possibility we’ve created for ourselves. We lose sight of the infinite, the boundless capabilities within ourselves. We instead think ‘if only I had a better body’, ‘if only it was the 80s again’. We crave the ‘good old days’ rather than living each day like those or creating new ones. We all have the capacity to make an impact, small or large. It’s just a matter if we choose to or not.

We’re infinite beings bound in human flesh. We can create with limitless possibilities using the power of our mind and are only constrained by our physical bodies.

Plato wrote about the ‘Allegory of the Cave‘ many centuries ago. If you are not familiar, see the short video explanation below done by this artist with clay:

To these prisoners, the cave was not merely a cave, it was their whole universe.

We must not allow the cave of current experiences to define what is possible in our life. 

**

Imagine your life as a vessel of water as well as everyone else around you. As a vessel, the one and only thing you can give to another person is some of your water. However, if you haven’t been able to keep your vessel full of water, you will not have anything to give to others. You must take care of your own water first, your own energy, your own well-being.

Fill your own vessel so you may share your gifts with others.



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Give a smile, Get a smile

March 5, 2012 By 2 Comments

This Chai Wallah in India was smiling inside... I'm sure of it.

 

I was at a Chipotle last week and the cashier seemed very stressed and hurried. It was during the lunch hour so she was constantly swiping cards, packing bags and finishing orders. She had a very pained look on her face like she was hoping to get a break. When I saw this, I just smiled at her when it was my turn to give my card and slowly handed it over. I didn’t think much of it as I was only smiling because I happened to be in a good mood at the time, but I saw this large smile erupt from her face like watching a time lapse of a flower blooming within an instant. It was the kind of reaction that caused just enough surprise for me to take notice. It reminded me that we’re all connected whether we realize it or not. That simple smile I gave reflected into her life, causing her to feel, even for a moment, the positive mood I was already in.

***

Our internal state affects our external state. If we’re unhappy inside, we’ll be unhappy on the outside. If we’re angry, stubborn, closed on the inside, the same will manifest on the outside.

If we instead choose to be kind and compassionate, knowing these feelings will be reflected back at us, we can start cultivating these experiences in our own life.

“If you build it, they will come.” – Field of Dreams.

If you build a culture of positive energy, positive energy will be drawn to it. People can’t help but feel good about themselves, even for a moment, when they are around others who are happy.

In the physical world: when we give a gift, we recieve thanks from the receiver. When you give someone a positive experience — recommending a great movie, show or book, you receive positive feedback. When you brighten someone’s day, their new feelings brighten your day. This is because we’re all connected; individual parts swimming in the same stream. We all want to feel accepted and appreciated in our own way.

All major religions spoke of this, otherwise known as “The Golden Rule”:

“Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” – Matthew 22:39

“Woe to those… who, when they have to receive by measure from men, they demand exact full measure, but when they have to give by measure or weight to men, give less than due” — Qur’an (Surah 83, “The Dealers in Fraud,” vv. 1–4)

“You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against your kinsfolk.” -Leviticus 19:18

“One should never do that to another which one regards as injurious to one’s own self. This, in brief, is the rule of dharma.”
—Brihaspati, Mahabharata ( Anusasana Parva, Section CXIII, Verse 8 )

“Just as pain is not agreeable to you, it is so with others. Knowing this principle of equality treat other with respect and compassion.” —Suman Suttam , verse 150

“The sage has no interest of his own, but takes the interests of the people as his own. He is kind to the kind; he is also kind to the unkind: for Virtue is kind. ” —Tao Teh Ching, Chapter 49

 

We reflect the world back from ourselves.

***

We live our lives through the lens of our own experiences, sometimes we tend to forget that others see and experience the world differently. This shouldn’t change or limit us from always striving to live from our inner truth.

Seth Godin’s recent book is titled “We Are All Weird”, about embracing your inner eccentricity and ‘otherness’ because it brings out the REAL you. In today’s world of business suits and superficial engagements, it is those who break the mold and buck old trends that garner the most attention and currently dominate the marketing world. Conventional wisdom makes this seem obvious — if you’re acting like everyone else, you will never stand out, you will just be part of the mold. Maybe that’s okay if you want to be there, but to do exceptional things you need to tap into that child-like wonderlust of excitement in your life and express it loudly and proudly. Gravitate people to your vision, your idea, your unique perspective because ‘We are all Weird’ and not all of us are ready to accept it yet.

When we live from our inner truth, success is not defined externally, but internally. Don’t be ashamed to live your inner truth. Sometimes just a simple smile can change someone’s day and in turn will change yours. 



Filed Under: life, passions

Creating our Dreams and Imaginations

February 10, 2012 By 1 Comment

Imagination of a Little Boy by Juliana Coutinho on Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ngmmemuda/4769872226/in/photostream/

 

Our dreams and imaginations, through our actions, can allow us to build the life we want to live.

Two years ago I remember sitting on the couch of my cousin’s home in California wondering why so many people had jobs and I was struggling to find one a month after graduating college. What was wrong with me I thought. No one wanted me? No one wanted to use me as their human resource?

Less than a month later I found a job doing exactly what I wanted to work on — mobile apps. The realization of what I was expecting couldn’t be more distant from reality: I was employed and at the start of what most people would consider a great career with a great salary in a tough economic time (given this was shortly after the 2008 crash), but I noticed I felt just as lost sitting on that couch in California as I was now working at this new job. People seemed happy with me, so I must be doing something right I thought, but why wasn’t I able to feel the same way inside? Why was I more inspired by the creations of others including innovative mobile app services? Why was I more passionate about working on my own Apps in my free time than I was about the ones for a company that was giving me money?

By settling for what others believe is your potential, you sacrifice your true capabilities, your passions, your dreams. You allow other people’s ideas of where you should be dictate future possibilities. Granted, I didn’t necessarily dislike my manager or the people around me; I disliked how being in that office environment impacted my capabilities and where I could see myself being.

Change is scary, but change is also always happening. It’s not a single moment, an event. It’s a slow process that involves many forces acting upon other forces to put us where we are.

When we graduate high school, the sudden change of college or the need to support ourselves in the real world seems vastly different. Like a puppet hand from above carrying us from one reality into an entirely new one. All that we must realize though is that the future possibilities for ourselves under any circumstance is of our own making. We can change it. No matter in how little of a way, our energy can enact change on our exterior world, our current circumstances.

Henry David Thoreau wrote:
“As a single footstep will not make a path on earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.”

The more we keep moving our futures to match our dreams, the more the dreams will slowly began to become our reality. We literally imprint our dreams and imaginations on the fabric of reality, pushing it further and further down until it aligns with our vision.

It’s why anyone with a clear mission or a purpose can see rapid changes and progress in the pursuit of their goal.

This leads to an important implication — it’s possible to become what we consume. It’s possible to live your life simply by what you see happening to others. All your ideas of what’s possible or achievable can be determined by what someone else was able to do and be shown to you.

What we need to realize is this is a fallacy. You are not what you consume unless you allow yourself to be. How many people became the characters on the TV show Jersey Shore after seeing it? Adopted their personalities, their mannerisms, their swagger? It’s possible and it happens… But as humans we have our own imagination and ability to manifest our own vision. We sometimes forget that because it can be easier to passively take in other people’s creations while not producing our own. When you’ve allowed yourself to fall off this path of creating, even in small amounts, it becomes harder and harder to create again. I wrote last year about an Ignite talk my friend Jochen Wolters gave that included an anecdote about Benjamin Franklin’s daily ritual of spending 4 hours to simply ‘Play & Reflect’. While many of us can’t do that, we can at least create for 15 minutes each day: We are Born to Create.

Don’t allow others to create your reality. At the very least, realize your inner potential and begin creating your path, slowly aligning it with where you want to be.

***

Steven Johnson talks about the adjacent possible in our lives in his Wall Street Journal essay, “The Genius of the Tinkerer”. He mentions it as:

“The adjacent possible is a kind of shadow future, hovering on the edges of the present state of things, a map of all the ways in which the present can reinvent itself.”

And the best part?

“The strange and beautiful truth about the adjacent possible is that its boundaries grow as you explore them. Each new combination opens up the possibility of other new combinations. Think of it as a house that magically expands with each door you open. You begin in a room with four doors, each leading to a new room that you haven’t visited yet. Once you open one of those doors and stroll into that room, three new doors appear, each leading to a brand-new room that you couldn’t have reached from your original starting point. Keep opening new doors and eventually you’ll have built a palace.”

Adjacent possibilities are the shadows of our own lives. Like in the Matrix, when Neo is faced with the choice of the Red Pill or the Blue Pill, this choice and action impacts his future possibilities. We control our adjacent possibilities. By the energy we place in every action, every moment in our lives, we push ourselves through these adjacent possibilities, creating new realities for ourselves and new possibilities along the way. The sad truth is if we don’t have the energy or don’t use it to create change, changes around us continue on without our input by the input of others. It will soon depend on who you’re surrounding yourself with that dictates your adjacent possibilities, your possible futures. If it’s a positive group, a supportive family, an inspiring atmosphere, you may find strength and be able to find a path for yourself; your place to make a mark in this world. If it’s in a negative environment, an unsupportive group, and around people who are not passionate about making the most of their lives with what they have, you may find yourself adopting those views and settling for what you see as limited opportunities for yourself.

When I was at my job, I was surrounded by workers who simply lived for the weekend. Some were resigned to the idea that this was the only way to make a living and support a family. Passions, dreams and ambitions were for those who were lucky, entitled, and different. Monday became a dreaded day, Wednesday was half-way to the weekend, and Friday meant leaving early for happy hour. In environments like this you can lose that sense of wonder and excitement that comes from seeing new ways of doing things. I remember by the Fall, I would arrive at work when the Sun hadn’t risen yet and leave after the Sun had already set. It was very poignant at that time how much of life you miss out on when you are forced to be inside during all hours of the day while the Sun is out. I remember telling people at this time it felt like a part of my soul was being sucked away by slowly remaining in that cubicle while I kept looking outside wanting to simply enjoy the warmth of the Sun. It was confusing to me at the time because I loved what I was doing, I respected my manager, and I didn’t even feel like I was in that terrible of a situation as most people are who struggle with work arrangements.

We don’t have to be born into certain circumstances to have this ability to change our situation; we’re all born with that same gift of being able to use our energies to enact change onto our lives and the world around us. It simply starts with the belief that we can. I ended up finding inspiration that year at the Cohere Coworking Facility in Colorado. The simple connection between people who saw life through a different perspective — one where many things were possible, passion and perseverance trumped stability, and that it was possible to cultivate a life worth living through collaboration and sharing. Sharing of ideas, stories, and hardships fueled a collective desire to want to become something bigger than ourselves; to grow ourselves into the people we actually wanted to be, not the ones that upper management saw us to be.

What I realized is collaboration, not competition, is the way to truly create something of value not only in a business but in the world. It was the collaboration between my business partner Kunjan and I throughout that year that led us to forming our Mobile App Development Studio; something neither of us could have built up on our own. It was collaboration that led to us partnering with other creative individuals and change makers that helped us produce bigger and better projects for our clients and will continue to do so in the future. It was collaboration that helped us understand the administrative tasks of businesses that typically bog down many of us that attempt to make this path with our craft.

In the long run, for industries, businesses and individuals, it makes more sense to collaboratively grow a pie for everyone and take your slices than to fight like savages for the existing pie until it’s gone for no one to consume .

***

Have you ever wondered if we are born with talents or that it may be possible to grow into them? Are singers who we see with impeccable voices given these talents while the rest of us are simply unlucky?

I asked this question on Google+ last year over here and was referred to an interesting book about research done on this very idea for the past 20 years. Dr. Carol Dweck found something else fascinating in her research: the way you answered that above question in your mind — either yes you are born will natural talents or no you are not will actually determine the kind of mindset you have and capacity for success. She says we can be placed into one of two mindsets (and possibly have more and less of one at any given time):

“In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success—without effort. They’re wrong.

In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment. Virtually all great people have had these qualities.” We can have more or less of a fixed or growth mindset at any point in time, but the amount to which you have defines how much you are able to enact change on your own life and the world.

If you truly believe within your heart you are not capable of increasing your talent or skills at something, you’ve already eliminated the adjacent possibilities in front of you before you even had a chance.

What we don’t realize is even if we simply believe… If we have faith… If we strive for something so much simply out of the that feeling that comes from the heart, we begin pulling future possibilities within our grasp. Sure, it may not look exactly like our dreams, or what we had expected when we began imagining, but that’s because there are many other competing forces in the world, not just our own that are making an impact. It doesn’t change the fact that you will be closer to the reality you dreamt up than you were in the past. What you’ll find is that it’s more about the journey to get to your dream than the dream itself.

Remember: we create so others may continue to create.

We, as humans, created the technology of language so that we may have Shakespeare. We created the technology of pianos and musical instruments so we may have Beethoven and Mozart. We created the technology of microprocessors so companies like Apple and Google can give us smartphones that enable us to interact with our world in so many unique ways.

We stand on the shoulders of previous creators in all industries and walks of life.

Our human bodies and minds may not be here to continue on this world when we pass, but our creations can be timeless.



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Inspiration is an Amazing Thing

January 30, 2012 By 2 Comments

A Wall of Inspiration outside of a Yoga Studio in Goa.

 

I’ve realized recently that I can maintain a positive attitude and high energy level during the day simply by staying inspired. Even the smallest thing will inspire me.

I’m incredibly inspired by people who are passionate about something in their life and fiercely do whatever it takes to make their dreams a reality.

I’m inspired by people who want to do more than sit in a cubicle and become a cog in a dying system of doing business just because it’s safe.

I’m inspired by people who are not living for the weekend and are actively changing and growing themselves.

I’m inspired by developers younger than me who have created amazing things and can see a world of infinite possibilities for their generation.

I’m inspired by people who are living simply but purposefully.

I’m inspired by people who have given up much of their life to benefit the lives of others.

I’m inspired by the growth of technology and it’s ability to network so many people together who are like-minded to share thoughts with people who may be a world apart and grow niche communities that otherwise may never have formed due to geographical limitations; essentially allowing for instantaneous communication across the globe.

I’m inspired by change-makers and trouble-makers and everyone in-between who bucks authority and against all odds attempts to forge their own paths in life.

I’m inspired by people in-tune with their internal energy and make it a point to spread positive energy to others out of pure kindness and compassion.

***

We are all carriers of information. Whether that information is simply knowing the answer to a question or describing a life-altering experience, we carry with us information that we use to make decisions in the world around us. Some of us consume a lot of information and we become data banks and experts on a certain topic. Some of us discover new information that can be shared to others. In many ways, these are just messages. Messages we constantly send via our body language, presence, speech, and other mediums like text/email/IM.

Gandhi wrote: “My life is my message”.


Information is very fluid, it flows like a river and creates currents and waves depending on the importance of it. Information can be power if it provides understanding to those that receive it. Information can be strength to those that it enlightens. Information can simply be a sign that says where you are and where you need to be.

Information flows to all of us in some way or the other like the water of a tree. We are all roots and branches of the same tree — literally. Family trees map out our close ancestors, but if you followed it far enough, you’d find we are all connected deeply down this tree. Science has shown this as well — our DNA is a genetic footprint of this fact.

The most noble thing you can do in this world is live by the truth you know deep in your heart. We all know it because we are all connected to it on some level. It’s that tug you feel inside when you hear about a friend who has cancer. It’s that void you feel in your chest when someone close to you suddenly passes away and a veil is lifted on the world and you realize certain things just don’t matter in the grand scheme of things — our homes, our cars, our status, our job, and even money.

We realize money can only get us so far, but love can get us farther. Love for ourselves, for others and the world.

“Forsake not truth even unto death.” – Gandhi


We must make our lives our message. Live from the inside of our beings out into the external world, not the other way around. Not be defined by the media — that we’re not good enough, that we’re not pretty enough, that we need that promotion to be respected. Our best selves are always within us, we just have to choose to realize that and live by it.

Life can take many turns. It can go over roadblocks, be met with uncertainty, provide unexpected outcomes, but like a ripple in an ocean, our lives continue to move with the current.

***

I’m inspired by the smile of a little girl I met on the streets of Ahmedabad who may not have much in life, but exudes happiness that seems to evade the most successful of us in the western world. There’s something we can all learn from her.

 
What has inspired you recently?

 



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Color your Life

January 22, 2012 By 1 Comment

Jan. 14th and 15th is the Uttarayana kite-festival celebrated in Gujarat, India. It’s a tremendously colorful spectacle with thousands of people flying kites on the terraces and rooftops of buildings throughout the city. Uttarayana is meant to mark the day that the Sun begins to travel North above the hemisphere signaling the approaching Summer. It’s a truly amazing sight that has to be experienced to understand. Kite shops line the roads and shops close down for the weekend as everyone takes time off to be with family/friends and fly their kites while dancing to music.

The day after I arrived, we went to a kite shop to pick up a pack of brightly colored kites on our way to downtown Ahmedabad. The cultural richness of the city is not missed when passing through the old city walls that used to encompass the town.

 

The downtown streets of Ahmedabad are very narrow and so similar to all the other streets that it was like walking through a maze finding the right building to climb up. We actually got lost twice after we parked going to the building and on our way back to the car. After we got to the building, we ascended the stairs to the roof where others had gathered either tying their kite together or flying it off the roof. Even the strings of the kites were brightly colored neon-pink or yellow that would leave your hands colored after the paint chipped off of the string.

Here are some pictures of what it looked like flying the kites:

The festival continued well into the night as we watched in awe as the night sky was lit up by orbs of light similar to the chinese festivals. Essentially they were tiny hot air balloons powered by small candles and hundreds of them flying up through the sky at once.

An orb of light flying above the terrace. It appears reddish from the glow of the candle flame within.

The festival is known for continuing throughout the day and night.
***
At night, sitting on that terrace, reflecting on the colorful kites during the day and the balls of light flying at night, I realized something about the transition:

Our world is filled with Dualities. Day/Night. Black/White. Up/Down. Hot/Cold. Ying/Yang.

When you balance the outside, you balance the inside.

If you build strength on the outside, you feel stronger on the inside.

Why do people feel better after a tiring run? You feel better if you’ve accomplished something on the outside, which drives that accomplishment inside.

Our exterior world and inner world, which is our own body, mind and spirit are inter-linked.

It’s about finding that balance within yourself and the universe.

When gurus always say “hapiness within you” or find “peace within”. What they mean is that simply reflecting those thoughts and feelings into the exterior world, reflect back into your interior world. If dropping weight makes you feel better about yourself, you truly will be better. You must actually be happy and endlessly satiated with the state of your weight or you go into imbalance.

Whatever you do on the outside reflects back on yourself inside.

***

We live in a very vanilla world. We get drawn into patterns of big brands, big box companies, and bland products. We seek out a Starbucks not necessarily because of their coffee, but for the familiarity. In many ways, this cuts away at the core of creativity. Other brands and companies begin to copy the way of the leading brand until they all are vanilla, the same message, the same product. Corporations have been structured like this for years, leading to the same idea for work schedule, retirement plans, benefits. Creative ways in actually achieving production and consumption are thrown by the side as bigger solutions are seen as the sole answer. In times of economic woe, as we’ve seen in 2008, the necessity to tighten spending, consumption of resources can lead us back to the infinite possibilities of a business/product/service/idea. New ideas begin to be possible as opportunities for change open up. The truth is that these ideas were always possible, but money, systems and familiarity blind us from seeing the way.

I walked into a restaurant in Goa that had over 50 items but nothing mentioning simply some cut up fruit. Since I noticed some items used bananas and oranges, I  simply asked for them to cut me up some bananas and oranges. At first there was a look of confusion on the server’s face as to how this would work, but I simply smiled and he went back to the kitchen and had this made:

When your menu item isn’t there, why not just create it?

Just like the kites flying high above Ahmedabad, coloring the sky with bright hues, color your own life with new experiences that add value. Create a handmade card instead of picking one up from Hallmark, skip Panera for a local bakery down the street, make your own pizza from scratch with fresh ingredients rather than ordering delivery. Share these moments with others so they can experience them too. It’s the little things in life that add spice and flavor to keep things interesting.



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Bloom Your Vision From the Depths of Uncertainty

January 17, 2012 By 9 Comments

 

The Matrimandir at the center of Auroville in Pondicherry, India. Symbolizing the bud of a Lotus flower blooming.

 

“Our world is merely a reflection of ourselves.”

The blooming of a lotus flower is an amazing thing. I’ve been in india the past two weeks where the lotus is regarded as the national flower. It’s the only flower that is able to fully bloom among the dark, shrouded sludge of a swamp. Among all this muck, rises beauty in a magnificent form.

It therefore symbolizes spirituality, fruitfulness, wealth, knowledge and illumination in India.

Many people have a stereotypical view of India as being a very chronically dirty place. With dust, pollution, over-crowded traffic, limited city planning, and a humid heat that keeps people in a state of low energy. Pollution isn’t limited to the trash that is littered throughout streets, but also the imposing noise and light polution wherever you go. Endless honking can be heard in every corner of every city as the common way of driving seems to be honking as if you were dribbling a basketball.

****

I just finished traveling through almost 5 states in India, three of which I had never been to before. Relatives were asking “who’s accompanying you?”, “why are you going?”, to which I would simply respond “I’m going alone to really see India, not the way others do, but the way I do.” I never de-value having companionship or family/friends when visiting a new place, but simply appreciate the value in everything including solo travel. My journey took me through Bangalore -> Pondicherry/Auroville -> Madurai -> Kochin -> Goa -> Ahmedebad and the states of Karnataka -> Tamil Nadu -> Kerala -> Goa -> Gujarat. There is one profound thing I realized as I mingled with tech professionals in the bustling city of Bangalore, found inner peace in Auroville, enjoyed company of family in Madurai, experienced coastal richness in Kochin, traded stories with new friends while growing a deeper understanding of Yoga in Goa, and finally landed in the Ahmedebad airport last Friday… all of us express an inner desire to see the best of ourselves and our beliefs in the world around us. We want to prove with our actions an inner truth that lies within us. We crave deeply in our hearts to show this to others through: material possessions, charitable donations, volunteer work, organizations we join, recognizations (awards, trophies, medals), our status or position in a company, and even our own art.

I noticed it was beautiful not what people were doing or how they were doing it, but rather why they were doing what they were doing. Why had someone who had lived most of her life in London now make handcrafted paper in Pondicherry? Why had an Austrian couple who had stable jobs back home leave everything to open up a creperie in Goa? Why had an auto rikshaw driver in Kerela left his poor village to make a living as a driver in a wealthier state? These were all stories I encountered on my trip that had one common thread — there was an inner truth as to why they were doing what they were doing. From the outside it may look like someone is just driving, or someone is just serving crepes, or just making paper… but deep down there’s a story, there’s a reason, there’s a purpose within all of us.

Where we find beauty, we find inspiration, we find meaning, and we find ourselves.

***

Pondicherry and Auroville was devasted just 3 days before I had arrived by the largest cyclone seen in over 20 years. Neighborhoodds looked like impoverished ghettos, with trees collapsed in every direction and crumbled concrete walls blocking the roads. Power lines were hanging open across storefronts and many areas were being cleared by large tractors. The botanical gardens, which I was told was normally much more open was now shrouded by fallen branches and looked more like a lumber yard. The cleanup crews had cleared much of the streets and Auroville was still accessible even though 70% of the trees had been knocked down.

Here are pictures of just some of the destruction:

 

Among all this destruction, there was a beatifully and artfully placed authentic French Boulangerie, a French Bakery, still open called Baker’s Street.

From the steps of the shop you could see a collapsed roof, an open drainage system that was filled with green water, and debris littered across the street, but this well-known shop had placed their sign further out into the street and opened their doors to the smell of freshly baked baquettes and pastries.

The contrast was stark and noticeable, like a white lotus flower rising out of darkest depths of a pond. I noticed something amazing in that moment about India that I had failed to realize — most of India is actually like this. Anyone who has visited India is well aware of the dusty air, the dirty streets, the endless traffic, and the pollution that is everywhere. But there is always some nice-looking shop in the middle of all of this. Typically these are the shops mentioned in travel guides, the shops locals know well, and the highly respected ones in the community. They could be well-known silk shops, jewlery shops, or restaurants, but they are all very noticeable from their storefront appearance with the contrast of everything around it. Even in the more developed areas of India, you see this on some level.

This is no different than our own experiences in life.

While others may just see the murkiness — the difficulties, the challenges, the hard work, find the beauty in the little things around you and cultivate your own vision from the depths of uncertainty. Create those things in life that will allow your own lotus flower to bloom into this world. 



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Forget 2012 Resolutions, Live Your Life Now and Always

December 30, 2011 By 5 Comments

The Eiffel Tower a few hours ago

 

I was just walking by the Eiffel Tower a few hours ago. It was very beautifully lit up, with crews preparing for the lighting event tomorrow at midnight on New Years Eve. Apparently Paris doesn’t do fireworks anymore due to a recent legislation banning them, so there will just be a special lighting show on the tower as midnight approaches. I was standing on the sidewalk in front of the tower, next to many tourists from all over the world capturing pictures and memories of themselves in this moment, and I couldn’t help but reflect on this past year.

2011 was a year of rapid growth and understanding for me. I’m in awe looking back at where I was just a year ago, even in my posting about 2010 in reflection here on my blog last December. Since then I’ve done so many things including growing a business, traveling over 7 weeks this year including a 5 day hike to Machu Picchu (crossing off an item from my bucket list), and finding more clarity in everything I do.

Earlier this year I became an extrovert in an introvert’s body — networking and attending more events than I ever thought I would have the courage to (mostly out of necessity of being alone in a new city). I gave an Ignite talk to over 300 people about Chai, the largest public speaking event I had ever done after my 20 person Communications course in college. I pushed my comfort zone farther than I ever have in the past and started truly experiencing life.

While staring at the tower still in front of me, as rain drops pour overhead, a few epiphanies cross my mind as they seem to be doing these last few weeks.

We are experiencing an amazing time in human history. Where we are able to transcend limitations of geographical boundaries and connect with each other instantaneously over the internet. It changes everything we do, everything we know, and how we grow as human beings. We can share knowledge with anyone, anywhere, and be heard. Like Seth Godin wrote earlier this year, we are basically in control of our own production facilities with our laptops, the way the industrial revolution kicked off in the early 1900s with factories. We each control our own factory. We can build, publish and extend our knowledge and wisdom out into the world at lightening fast speed.

The implications of this are phenomenal. I feel as if we’re in a period similar to that of the Enlightenment period — rapid intellectual growth which lead to many new ideas that shaped the way we understand ourselves, the world, and the future. Was it obvious to those philosophers, thinkers, painters, and artists that they were in such a transformative period while it was happening? It must have been hard to imagine the impact at the time. Just before the emergence of the philosophers, the printing press was invented which allowed knowledge to be spread farther and wider than ever before. Stephen Johnson wrote in “Where do Good Ideas Come From” that a boom in Coffee shops gave rise to another phenomenon — the gathering of minds in a central spot to mix ideas together and evolve them to a point where they could be tangibly created in the physical world. Crowd-sourcing initiatives like Kiva and Kickstarter are showing the power of the internet now to bring together many individuals together for a common idea and produce something tangible in the world. We get inspired now by people who we’ve never met, but who we feel like we know completely. We tweet with people who we would never normally communicate with and create connections that were never possible even half a decade ago. Have you ever thought how magical it is to create a voice chat with another person over your phone? You are in essence creating a digital bridge across space and communicating on a face to face level with another human being (i.e being able to pick up on additional facial language cues) which creates a much more personal connection.

So what does this all mean?

It means our futures are chosen by us. We decide it. And now more than ever we can act on it and see results faster than ever before. If there was ever a passion in your life you felt you wanted to pursue more than anything else in the world, now is the time to act. Your message can touch millions of people at the click of a button if it resonates and the opportunity to make a life worth living for yourself is suddenly not a dream anymore. In return, you would not only gain freedom to enjoy life as you wish, but you would be contributing your own valuable gifts to the world and that’s the most beautiful thing — the epiphany that I had. It always seemed like a selfish thing — quit your job and enjoy a fun lifestyle outside of the corporate world while everyone else suffers… but that’s not the case at all. Each and every one of us has our own special talent, wisdom, or art to give to the world, but it’s being held back by societal bindings. Whether that be a job, a mortgage, loans — we all have societal baggage we carry around in our minds that cloud our ability to focus on what’s most important to us. Instead, you should reach inside towards that which touches your heart and soul and makes you feel alive; the core of your being that wants to make an impact in some way for your family, your community, your city, or the world. These will be the things that give your life meaning, purpose, and in pursuing them, lead you to happiness.

So rather than making 2012 resolutions, I say we acknowledge this great period of time we’re living in and make the most of our lives now and share our passions with others. Life is meant to be lived, not followed. Live your life now and always, never needing to make a resolution. Happy New Years everyone!



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Sing Your Song

December 22, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Note: I’m currently in Paris on my way to India for my business partner, Kunjan’s, wedding. I’ll be traveling until after his wedding, working almost every night, and returning to the US during the first week of February. Wondering how this is possible or how I could keep up with work? Check out my next post about how Kunjan and I are able to do what we love and keep productive no matter where we are in this world! Hint: It starts with having a passion you live for every day. 

——————–

An interesting visual of my travels this year from geotagged pictures I've taken on my iPhone. The arrow is the rough spot where I wrote this post from.

 

Dec 14th, 2011

30,000 ft in the air above the Atlantic

10:42pm EST

Flying over the Atlantic. It seems so calm the vast ocean below. The slow wave of the current seems motionless from above. It seems extraordinary, as massive an expanse that an ocean is, that we as humans have crafted a way to traverse this body of water with ease. Building large metal birds to carry us that now create migration patterns if you look at popular flight paths over different seasons:

Flight routes across the world any given day.

 

A lot of small ideas, discoveries, and inventions over time coalesced to reach the reality we are at today where we can jump on a plane and be anywhere in the world within a day or two.

It begins with a single seed; someone looking up at the birds flying overhead and imagining the impossible: “how can I fly?”.

Our ideas, our visions, our creations allow the most unbelievable possibilities in this world. If you imagine, just 100 years ago, the commercial flight I’m taking to Paris was unheard of.

Now we live in a world where collaboration can happen between talented individuals from all over the world, all coming together for one idea, one vision, one belief. The internet is allowing for the mom and pop clothing store around the corner to reach a global audience by connecting with those interested not just in the local neighborhood, but across the world. Customers are now only limited by their access to a computer with the internet rather than geographic location — and the definition of computer with the internet is slowly becoming all our mobile devices we carry in our pockets and purses.

What software engineers have seen since the very first computers programs were being written was that this gap of geography meant endless possibilities in the digital space. A developer working in the Europe can produce something just as valuable as someone in San Francisco because the raw materials(code) and tools(text editors) are digital. As computer programmers, we’re literally shaping the foundations of this digital world. We plant our seeds, our applications and humans across the world interact with them, growing with them, and changing the initial application based on their needs. For instance, looking at the history of the web browser (wikipedia), we can see how it has evolved from the early 90s to where it is now as a great example of how a simple idea and creation can flourish and grow based on the needs(inputs) of those who interact with it.

Anything is truly possible in the digital space.

I can put out a seed, a thought into this little blog of mine and it can potentially reach people all across the world at the click of a button. Think about the value you could be sharing. Think about what invention or creation you could be making. Each one of us is like a vessel. We hold thoughts, ideas, experiences in it and throughout our life we pour them into other people’s vessels when we interact. Sometimes we keep our vessels tightly guarded because we don’t want others peeking in and our vessel leaves this world without watering others.

What the digital world has shown us is what has always been true in the physical world — we make this world we live in. We do. All of us. Together. As individuals we deliberately can choose how we contribute, how we interact with each-other, and how we go about our daily lives. As human beings we have free will under any circumstance as long as we have the courage to use it.

We are here for reasons. Live it. Believe it. Do it. And then share your inner wisdom the way only YOU can.

It can be in the smallest or largest of ways. As small as a simple affirmation of truth or acceptance you decide to show your co-workers, or as large as a vision you want others to adopt to change the world, it all starts from one little dent you try and make. That little dent can grow from others who want to also make little dents with you until it becomes a larger, more visible dent.

Henry David Thoreau famously said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them”.

As we approach this festive christmas weekend and closing days of 2011, sing your song to the world. Sing it loud and proud and don’t let it die within you.



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