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Loving Life between our Goals and Accomplishments

May 10, 2012 By 2 Comments

Image from: http://moneysavingmom.com/2012/05/10-goals-for-this-week-13.html

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about goals and achievements lately. As an entrepreneur, one of the many challenges in running a business is keeping yourself grounded enough to see the immense value in everything you do and how you’re making a difference when the goals are much more rigid and ever-changing than when you’re simply working at a job and climbing a very visible ladder.

Goals and achievements are the pinnacle of societies across the world and rooted in our human condition of wanting to succeed. We want to be successful, recognized, and accomplish something meaningful. It’s what keeps us sane and able to continue what we do. We set up structures of achievements throughout our life: graduating high school, acceptance into colleges, getting hired for a new job, being recognized with a promotion, marrying, having children, and allowing this cycle to continue. While these are all amazing moments, they are simply that: moments. They are moments in time coupled with many other million moments in time we experience throughout our lives. We have more moments in our life that we don’t remember than the ones we do because we choose to only remember the high and low points. We live on a moving curve of ups and downs which map the stories of our life like a performance of acts in a play. We all dance together in this beautiful journey we call life.

Life is fragile though. So very fragile. It can bring us to tears when we remember this. Sometimes it’s in moments of our own pain and suffering and other times during a tragic or untimely death. Death shows us in plain sight the existential problem to human existence. While we are amazingly creative and infinitely capable of anything within our imagination, we are limited by these bodies of flesh that make up who we are. We can dream up rockets and planes that extend our literal human capabilities, but we all suffer the same fate at some moment: death. It changes us, forever. When we know of our mortality or when we remember it, we become better people. We put aside the petty drama of our lives and look at our higher purpose. We understand we are not merely here to exist, but to thrive. Our goals and accomplishments are not just milestones, they’re sign posts that show us a direction to take. Life happens in experiences between these posts so the goals and accomplishments are not the most important moments in our lives. It’s as if the cover of a book is our present moment and the back is the goal; the real story is told through the many pages in-between. We only truly ever exist in the present moment. The moment you’re existing in right now, inhaling each breathe of air, is your life. We should never forget that as we continue the path to our goals. The human condition is surreal– we can create any life for ourselves, a river of possibility from our imagination and desires, and yet at the same time we experience every little moment that leads there. That’s the purpose of goals and accomplishments. Giving us a start and end point on which to steer ourselves through the experiences of life. We can choose a life worth living by setting the start and end points that we want to see for ourselves and then experiencing the magic of life in the middle.

We must start with the now and fill ourselves with everything we love; our best self. When you live life from your best self, you are always giving this to others. That is the most valuable gift you could ever give this world.

**
A friend of mine recently sent me a letter saying they were upset at negativity directed at them from a wall post on Facebook. A blunt insult and a pure form of bullying that caused real pain when it was read. Bullying is actually a sign of insecurity within the bully that is being made up for by bringing someone else down. But this friend is a yoga teacher who recently finished training in India and I felt compelled to reflect back some wisdom that I probably gained from her to begin with. After sending it, I realized how much I needed the reminder as well. Life has a funny way of manifesting exactly what you need at the right moment if you take the time to “stop and smell the roses”:

From the depths of the darkness and fire, we rise more resilient and stronger as a Phoenix from ashes. The negativity, scattered throughout our experiences, is present to highlight the contrast to those aware so we may clearly see the positivity, the bliss. Revealing the north star toward the light, away from our shadow.

Remember in Yoga we return to our mats with a goal, an intention. But it is not the intention that is the purpose of the practice. It’s the direction the present moment takes due to that intention. Therefor, it’s not about ever reaching a goal, but following the path and being present. The paths we never would have considered or taken if we hadn’t returned to the mat, hadn’t given time to contemplation. That journey is the practice.

“What is great in man is that he is a bridge and not an end” -Nietzsche

**

Like a plant, we grow to a certain point in our lives when we’re able to start creating seeds and putting them out into the world to let new plants grow and thrive. All past generations give us their creations in order for us to create in their shadow when they no longer can. As if we keep passing the torch of life on to the children of every new generation. Our entire lives are rooted in the lives of millions of others who have come and gone and we are all connected like the branches of a single tree.

So what is at the heart of our goals and accomplishments? I believe it is love.

Not a romantic love, although that is a powerful force which can help us learn about true love. True love is limitless, unconditional love for everything in existence. It is the releasing of all negativity, jealousy, pain, suffering and fear within ourselves that all we have left is pure love.

The force that binds all life together by a silver thread. This thread weaves itself between our present moment and all our goals. When we look for the silver lining in any moment, we are finding this. That blissful experience you find in even the most difficult of times that fills you with an immense joy reminding you that you are still alive and grateful for every breathe you take. That is love.

Love is the binding force between all things in this universe. The unexplainable outpouring of love that overwhelms us when we first see our children born. The feelings between two star crossed lovers as if the world melts between their arms. The compassion and kindness we all feel during a heartwarming story and which we call “pulling on our heart strings”. The emotions that are felt so profoundly that they are so deeply personal like how an Adele song vibrates through us and we hear it in our hearts. When we reach far within ourselves, we begin to hear each-other’s soul, softly between the beats of our heart and the rhythm of every breath. The heart has the second most nerve endings in our body after our brain so we can not only metaphorically, but literally “think” from our hearts. From empathy and understanding as opposed to the ego of mind. This is the pure state of love.

The heart only knows how to love. It pumps the blood throughout our bodies rejuvenating every cell with fresh nutrients and oxygen without any questions. Whether our minds choose to be an angry or kind person to the world, the heart never judges and continues to pump away this life giving energy until it no longer can. There’s universal wisdom in the power of our heart and ability to love.

One of my favorite movies of all time which depicts love in the most authentic way is Before Sunrise. The story is of romantic love between two travelers, but the underlining theme is of literal timeless love by the end when Ethan Hawke looks up at the clocks in Vienna. I absolutely loved a video I found by a filmmaker, Jason Silva, who talks about this. He created short bursts of what he calls “philosophical espresso” and uses the topic of love in one of them. What resonated profoundly when I first saw it was his recollection of the brilliance behind Richard Linklater’s Before Sunrise:

What Jason comes to by the end is the beauty of life: “Love is the answer to human existence but it does not solve the problem of human existence”.

Spread love into the world any way you can. Many ripples make vast changes in the ocean of life.



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Color your Life

January 22, 2012 By 1 Comment

Jan. 14th and 15th is the Uttarayana kite-festival celebrated in Gujarat, India. It’s a tremendously colorful spectacle with thousands of people flying kites on the terraces and rooftops of buildings throughout the city. Uttarayana is meant to mark the day that the Sun begins to travel North above the hemisphere signaling the approaching Summer. It’s a truly amazing sight that has to be experienced to understand. Kite shops line the roads and shops close down for the weekend as everyone takes time off to be with family/friends and fly their kites while dancing to music.

The day after I arrived, we went to a kite shop to pick up a pack of brightly colored kites on our way to downtown Ahmedabad. The cultural richness of the city is not missed when passing through the old city walls that used to encompass the town.

 

The downtown streets of Ahmedabad are very narrow and so similar to all the other streets that it was like walking through a maze finding the right building to climb up. We actually got lost twice after we parked going to the building and on our way back to the car. After we got to the building, we ascended the stairs to the roof where others had gathered either tying their kite together or flying it off the roof. Even the strings of the kites were brightly colored neon-pink or yellow that would leave your hands colored after the paint chipped off of the string.

Here are some pictures of what it looked like flying the kites:

The festival continued well into the night as we watched in awe as the night sky was lit up by orbs of light similar to the chinese festivals. Essentially they were tiny hot air balloons powered by small candles and hundreds of them flying up through the sky at once.

An orb of light flying above the terrace. It appears reddish from the glow of the candle flame within.

The festival is known for continuing throughout the day and night.
***
At night, sitting on that terrace, reflecting on the colorful kites during the day and the balls of light flying at night, I realized something about the transition:

Our world is filled with Dualities. Day/Night. Black/White. Up/Down. Hot/Cold. Ying/Yang.

When you balance the outside, you balance the inside.

If you build strength on the outside, you feel stronger on the inside.

Why do people feel better after a tiring run? You feel better if you’ve accomplished something on the outside, which drives that accomplishment inside.

Our exterior world and inner world, which is our own body, mind and spirit are inter-linked.

It’s about finding that balance within yourself and the universe.

When gurus always say “hapiness within you” or find “peace within”. What they mean is that simply reflecting those thoughts and feelings into the exterior world, reflect back into your interior world. If dropping weight makes you feel better about yourself, you truly will be better. You must actually be happy and endlessly satiated with the state of your weight or you go into imbalance.

Whatever you do on the outside reflects back on yourself inside.

***

We live in a very vanilla world. We get drawn into patterns of big brands, big box companies, and bland products. We seek out a Starbucks not necessarily because of their coffee, but for the familiarity. In many ways, this cuts away at the core of creativity. Other brands and companies begin to copy the way of the leading brand until they all are vanilla, the same message, the same product. Corporations have been structured like this for years, leading to the same idea for work schedule, retirement plans, benefits. Creative ways in actually achieving production and consumption are thrown by the side as bigger solutions are seen as the sole answer. In times of economic woe, as we’ve seen in 2008, the necessity to tighten spending, consumption of resources can lead us back to the infinite possibilities of a business/product/service/idea. New ideas begin to be possible as opportunities for change open up. The truth is that these ideas were always possible, but money, systems and familiarity blind us from seeing the way.

I walked into a restaurant in Goa that had over 50 items but nothing mentioning simply some cut up fruit. Since I noticed some items used bananas and oranges, I  simply asked for them to cut me up some bananas and oranges. At first there was a look of confusion on the server’s face as to how this would work, but I simply smiled and he went back to the kitchen and had this made:

When your menu item isn’t there, why not just create it?

Just like the kites flying high above Ahmedabad, coloring the sky with bright hues, color your own life with new experiences that add value. Create a handmade card instead of picking one up from Hallmark, skip Panera for a local bakery down the street, make your own pizza from scratch with fresh ingredients rather than ordering delivery. Share these moments with others so they can experience them too. It’s the little things in life that add spice and flavor to keep things interesting.



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Reflections From an Empty Airport Terminal

August 2, 2011 By 1 Comment


I’m sitting in a mostly deserted airport terminal, lights bright and a sign overhead displaying the city of Atlanta. I look out the window and see an idle plane waiting to take me on the first leg of my trip to Peru. Alone, yet not lonely, with just the attendants in blue shirts, like Tom hanks in The Terminal, I’m contemplating about all that has taken place in the past year to bring me up to this point. A point that seems unimaginable to me based on where I was exactly 1 year ago. So many events and opportunities have presented themselves at the right time to align up with me being able to sit in this airport tonight, awaiting a flight on my way to South America.

It all began with a decision last December to officially leave my job to focus on Quark Studios full-time. Almost 8 months later, I believe I not only made the right decision, but I cringe to think how everything woud have turned out if I had not made that choice. I’m not going to sugar coat it and make it sound like it’s been all peaches and roses, but to be honest, for all the new pain points that have been introduced: lack of consistent paycheck, continually searching for clients, working more than 40 hours a week, always facing the fear of the unknown… None of this even comes close to the pain point of feeling trapped, helpless, and stuck in a cubicle. In fact, they don’t even come close. There’s something about always being in control of your life that is exhilarating and makes you feel truly alive. It was the monotony of working in a large corporation and not feeling like I was contributing to something bigger than myself that made life in a cubicle seem meaningless — like slowly waiting while my life was just passing by.

Now all that’s passing by is an empty moving walkway behind me, humming along in the background as I reflect on how grateful I am to be going on this adventure. As I continue to wait, I can’t imagine a better place I would rather be at this moment in time. I hope wherever you are reading this, you feel the same way or that you are putting yourself in position to. Life is too short to not be living.



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We are born to create

June 2, 2011 By 2 Comments

I had a conversation tonight that made me think very deeply about the importance of time and how very limited it truly is to us.

It touched me in such a way that I can only relate in the form of a short poem:
I’m torn between two worlds. The familiar and the exciting. They all look in, judge, admire, wonder, wish, and wait. They see and they try to understand. You try to explain, but it’s futile. Sometimes there’s no explanation for the way things are or how they’re meant to be. You feel in your heart a feeling so strong, that it becomes impossible to explain or relate it to others. Explanations are futile. They’ll look at you in denial. Something’s wrong. Gossip about this drama of something so unique because their lives are so plain, ordinary. They cry for something more, but are trapped. The invisible bonds of safety, familiarity, sameness. But we are born to create — to bring something into this world that wasn’t there before just like how we come into it. It’s the essence of life.

Everything in our world that we know of has come from some initial innovation or idea — because someone created something where there was nothing.

If you’re not creating, start. I keep thinking about all the great projects I’ve come across and there’s only one thing these others are doing that I’m not — creating. I may be working, developing, and being generally busy, but I’m not creating. I’m not innovating, thinking of new solutions, imagining a new possibility.

A common thread this year that has followed me from all the interactions and conversations I’ve had is the importance of taking action on something rather than simply talking about it. An idea is only an idea, an invisible thought, until you do something about it. It’s never too late to start. Like my friend Jochen even said earlier this year at Ignite Fort Collins #7:

Create more. Even for just 15 minutes a day.

What are you creating?



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Book Review: The Art of Non-Conformity by Chris Guillebeau

May 2, 2011 By Leave a Comment

The Art of Non-Conformity

There are a few books I’ve read in my life that dramatically changed my perspective on the world, and Chris’s book, The Art of Non-Conformity, was one of those that I read last year. I don’t remember the exact moment I heard about the book, but after a few months feeling stuck in a cubicle at my 9-5 job, I started reading a lot about entrepreneurship, freelancing, self-employment, and somehow got linked to his blog. What really drew me in was how bluntly he spoke about current societal norms and how most people accept them with no questions. A part that really stuck out to me in the beginning that I feel really explains the core message of the book was: When we’re growing up, a common expression used to let us know we shouldn’t succumb to peer pressure is “If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you also do it?”. He asks why this same principle does not seem to apply after we’re adults and how we all seem to conform to the same steps of: getting a job, then a house, then a car, etc. and in the process racking up debt that keeps us in this cycle where we’re always dependent on the current job we have. Instead he offers simply peeking over the cliff, and walking back because what’s there to really lose by following a non-conformist path? Worst-case scenario you just join a job you dislike after awhile and you will end up in the same position you would have been in, so you actually have more to lose by not attempting to pursue something you truly enjoy doing in life first.

The book first and foremost is about finding enjoyment out of life and then finding a way to make a living out of it. It’s better to be doing what you love rather than making lots of money doing something you hate. And life is too short to be hating a large chunk of it. A big point he brings up is the idea of “deferring life”. This is the whole concept of retirement. Essentially retirement is a big form of deferring your life because the idea is to keep working hard now so you can live comfortably later on. But the problem is how much can you really enjoy later in life when you’re older and physically unable to do many things? And by the time you retire, do you really know what you want to do with your life then? That should be something you already know and are taking steps towards every day. Too many people wait for this imaginary time to retire, but have no idea what they would truly enjoy doing at that point because they’ve spent so long deferring what they are passionate about in life.

Chris’s book helps you wake up to seeing life as something precious which you have limited time to fully experience and so to start making the most of it. I highly recommend it to anyone who is looking for an inspirational kick in the arse to start living your life to the fullest.

 



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Appreciating the Journey, Not Just the Destination

April 26, 2011 By Leave a Comment

There’s a popular expression that goes “Stop and smell the roses”. It is typically used to direct people to the life they’re missing out on by busily running from place to place and keeping a full calendar. Few of us realize how much this applies to our professional lives as well. If you’re working at a job, do you know why? Is it to advance your career, make money, achieve a more desirable status? Imagine for a moment that you are at the peak of your career, have as much money as you want, and you’re accepted by your peers as who you want to be. What does this look like? Are you happy? Does any part of this image seem fuzzy because you are unsure how it would look or feel? If so, “stop and smell the roses”, and find out what you really want this image to look like and if the path you’re on will lead you there. If it does, great, if not, start pushing yourself in that direction even if it means taking small steps.

I’m in Seattle this week on vacation, and something I’ve realized that is a direct benefit of being self-employed is the ability to make vacation plans on a whim. There’s no requesting time-off, calculating accrued hours, getting approval. I simply just feel like clearing my head and getting a new perspective from my surroundings and book a flight to stay with a cousin for the week. It’s the simple things we sometimes overlook that are actually worth the most to us in terms of enjoyment in our lives. Personally, I love to travel and experience new places on a regular basis, so being limited from these opportunities by 2 week vacation limits directly impacts how much enjoyment I can get out of life. Everyone has their own passions and activities that make them feel happier in this world. Is your professional life constraining you in any way from experiencing these things? If so, “stop and smell the roses” by examining parts of your career you could re-shape to allow yourself to start experiencing more of the things you enjoy.

We live in a time where things happen at lightning fast paces. The internet has allowed instantaneous delivery of media and hyper connected us to each-other through services like Facebook, Twitter and e-mail. It’s very easy to get caught up thinking we’re on top of everything when consuming all this media because it makes us feel busy and productive when in reality it’s actually taking time away from ourselves that could be spent reaching our goals in life. I read a quote recently that succinctly puts this in context: “Many people are so concerned with adding days to their life that they forget to add life to their days.” – Harriet Meyerson, President of the Confidence Centre. We see our professional life as this zero-sum game where we must work hard now in order to retire so we can enjoy life later. Why can’t we “stop and smell the roses” so we enjoy each and every day the process of achieving our goals rather than solely looking forward to how it will look or feel like in the future?



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Put Yourself on a Life Path, Not Just a Career Path

January 24, 2011 By Leave a Comment

When we think of what we want to do in life, many of us think of what we want our careers to be. When we enter college and declare a major, it becomes something that defines who we will be when we grow up. But how often do we ask ourselves what we really want to do in our lives? What we really want to accomplish? What we really want to be remembered for?

We seem to never think about these questions and just keep living life to societal expectations – get a job, get married, get a big house, get nice cars, have kids, retire after 60, grow old in a retirement home/community. If you had a chance to do anything with your life, is that the path you would choose? Don’t get me wrong. I think you should absolutely look forward to planting your roots in a city, starting a family, raising kids, and maybe buying or building your own house, but these are things that should come naturally when you know the time is right and you really want them. They shouldn’t be a substitute for actually living your life. If there’s something you know you would love to be doing and the opportunity presents itself, do it! Don’t wait until you have other obligations in your life that will hold you back. Soon you’ll be older and the number of things you can physically do will start dwindling.

Don’t know what you want to do? Try starting a bucket list by brainstorming everything you would love to do if you had all the time in the world. You’ll start to realize there’s quite a bit to do on this wonderful planet of ours which we seem to forget when we only think about what’s on TV or the latest irrelevant news.

We live in a very instant gratification society where we jump from one distraction to another. This chaos makes us lose sight of all that is possible for us in the world. We really need to, as the sang goes, “stop and smell the roses”; because someday, there won’t be any roses.



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We are the Enemies of our Passions Part 1

January 17, 2011 By Leave a Comment

As we get older, we seem to have more things that we’re supposed to do. There’s more societal, parental, and peer pressure to conform to what everyone else is doing and get a full-time job. If you’re not working a full-time job, you’re on a path to one. We get tied to this path so firmly that many of us never see there are other ways to branch out and create our own leaves in this world.

Typically it is when we’re younger that we have passions we begin to seek or fantasize about. We notice others doing interesting things and wonder how their lives must be like. We dream of possibilities and imagine ourselves in amazing situations. Most of us forget after we enter college or graduate and these hopes and dreams are lost with our new identity.

Are there certain things you remember feeling so nostalgic about when you travel down memory lane? Were there some moments in elementary, middle, or high school that have stuck so closely to you that its one of the first memories to come up when you think about that time?

We tend to think about “the good old days” as always being in the past. We’re always longing for that time. When I think back to my most memorable times in school and college, there are some that stick out more clearly than others. Some I can remember as if they were only yesterday and just thinking about them creates an empty pit in my stomach as I long to go back in time and re-experience that moment. I even think what I would do differently if I could completely re-live my life starting at that moment. Thinking about paths I would have taken and where they would have led. Thinking about people I would have connected with and opportunities that would have been available.

Why are we so afraid to deviate from the path that we’re supposed to be on and explore?

In Part 2 I will lay bare some of the missed opportunities in my life and confront the underlying reasons for them openly and honestly. Stay tuned.



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Life as a Tree

December 20, 2010 By Leave a Comment

The bark of a tree is a lot like most people in the world who find themselves stuck in a daily grind. It is the largest part of the tree and and grows straight up and vertical. It is the same cylindrical shape around most of the tree. Its the part of the tree that hardly changes and remains in the same spot. Its the least riskiest part of the tree because it has the most support and will likely not break off.

The branches meanwhile are like those individuals who brake off from the main part of the tree and create new paths for themselves. It is from these new paths that newer branches are created and numerous leaves are formed all around the tree. The branches produce these leaves which capture the energy needed by the Sun for the tree to survive. These small little branches give back to the larger whole tree in a symbiotic cycle that embodies in many ways the circle of life.

Are you the bark or a branch?



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I Quit

December 1, 2010 By 1 Comment

I put my two weeks notice in today.

There are those who may look at what I’ve done and say I’m throwing everything away. All those years going to college and getting a degree and I’m throwing away future opportunities by leaving the corporate world. There are those who will say I’m giving up a high paying job that I have taken for granted in such a tough economy and that it won’t be very easy to get back to where I was. There are those who will look at what I did and say I’m crazy for not thinking about my future.

The irony of the last statement is that a big part of why I quit is because I began thinking about my future.

Let me pose a question: “What do you want to accomplish or be in 5-10 years?”

Do you want to be the manager of your department? Do you want to have saved up enough to buy that car you always wanted? Do you want to have moved into a larger house with a bigger yard and nicer neighborhood?

I remember being asked this when I was still in college one christmas, and I froze without answering. The idea of knowing where I’d be in 5 years was beyond me. I had never stopped to think about what I really wanted to do with my life. Like many of us do, I passively went to middle school, then high school, then college, and then to a job. I’d begun what many would consider a successful career.

But the real question is, “Will you be happy doing what you are doing 5 years from now? 10 years from now?”.

Can you see the path you’re on currently and say you will be? Will you at the very least be able to look back and have no regrets?

Do you wake up every morning and look forward to what you’ll be doing or do you live for the weekends?

If you are happy with what you’re doing, happy with where you’re at, and happy with where you’ll be, then I’m glad for you. There are some of us though that want to be in control of our lives. We want to instill positive change in those around us and make a lasting impact in our community. We want to do work that doesn’t seem like work to us because we’re so passionate about it. People talk about having a work-life balance, but why can’t we just have a life that includes work as an afterthought?

That’s why I quit and am choosing to invest in myself rather than buying into the idea that working a 9-5 will give you safety, security, and happiness. Now more than any other time in recent history, job security in its traditional sense is slipping away for my generation. Newer graduates are finding it harder and harder to get the jobs they want, and those with jobs are sometimes having to settle for lower wages while competing with people newly entering the work force. Real job security in this new global economy comes from being able to find and generate wealth on your own terms. Especially in a struggling economy, the ones innovating and creating new ways of doing business are the ones that will shape the way of the future.

When you’re older, how will you look back and remember the past years of your life? Will you have done something meaningful and purposeful that you can be proud of?

Life is too short to be sitting in a cubicle getting paid to do mostly unproductive and unsatisfying work. It’s time to make a change and choose how you want to live your life. Its time to find your passion and pursue it.

In the coming weeks I’ll talk in more detail about how this isn’t just a dream and can be achieved by anyone no matter where they are currently in life. I’ll talk about how I went from getting a job earlier this year to starting my own company on the side, and growing it within 4 months to the point where I had enough confidence to give my two weeks notice this morning. I’ll include all the books I’ve read, the people I’ve met, and the lessons I’ve learned because I didn’t get to where I am today without the inspiration and help of a lot of people. I’m doing this as a way to understand myself better and connect with other passionate individuals, and I hope to inspire other readers who may be thinking about doing something on their own but just haven’t figured out how or found the courage yet to start.

So join me as I begin this new adventure by signing up for my RSS feed or connecting with me on twitter and facebook. I’d love to hear your feedback.



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